for god so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son.
To many of us, christmas is a time for giving, gathering and merry making.
Thank you rga, for the lippie and card. Hope you had heaps of fun with the Chinese!
Gatherings with thebigfamily are always enjoyable. No one would be seen sitting alone in a corner or blending into the wall paper. They are a bunch of generally happy crappy people who saw me since my secondary school frizzy hair days. The good mix of jokes food camwhoring and gift exchange aside, many of us are now attached.
a year ago..
EB and i invited some friends over to his humble abode for christmas dinner. Sis and bestie were on my top invite list, and am glad they were able to make it. We like hosting people, much more so to dear ones, and were glad our guests had their fill though there were no left overs. The pick of the night had to be wanton made with darling's chapalang secret recipe. Thank you tracy&kelvin, for the log cake that added much glitz to an otherwise simple fare. Thank you edmund, for the wine and chocolates companied with the christmas spirit. Thank you ian&joline, for bringing much bounce, joy and laughter to the night. Thank you ellice, for buying more udon at the very last minute and feeding me with yummy cookies stashed away in a corner. Above all, thank you darling, for doing the marketing with me and helping out in the kitchen. What would this season be without your love and you.
This christmas is nothing spectacular to boast about, short of presents to open, but very memorable for it was spent with people i love. Thank god for those who love me, who bring colours to my life, who welcome me home no matter how far i run, who is always waiting for me to return Home.
I was asked if i'm materialistic. Not that im pushing the blame by pointing the finger, but I believe everyone is materialistic by nature, and the media (and fashion mags) further emphasize their significance/insignificance, whichever way you see it. And yes, there're many material wants that i have been dreaming of for the longest time, stashing them to the back of my head. The main goal is fees loans bills and long term, and satisfying a material want only brings about short term happiness.
I'm happy for cws, he's got a gf! I'd only hope the best for them. I'm still friends with his sis and sis in law, but have held back from visiting his parents. I guess it's not too appropriate? Don't know why.
Not that it's any business of mine, but someoNe broke up with a sweet looking girl. How bout another party, underthesea?
It's back to work on sun mon tues wed and another super long weekend! Yipee!!
Here’re some reasons why every woman should watch competitive games with their man. 1) You see their truly vulgar self. 2) Great time for a beer and BBQ-ed chicken wings. Of cause I went for healthier choice, loaded with antioxidants green tea. Heh, if we’re not getting skinnier, let’s make them all fat! Ya? 3) A great way to negate calories! I got all excited, plunged into the sofa, twist and turned at near goals and am getting hunger pangs now. 4) It’s the only time you can shoot off a string of vulgarities without being faulted.
Tip of the day: Never make an attempt to lie on the man’s lap during the game. I swear my ear drums almost gave way when he got all excited over a near goal. Never. Even. Go near.
In my utterly amateur eye on soccer, I think the Lions played well! But.. All the huff and puff, we lost 1-0 to PhongPhong! FUCK! By the way huh, they very the kay siao lor..
Next year. Next year we’ll be down at the National Stadium rooting for The Lions! Ya larh, they will get into the next AFF semi finals one larh.
We were having our nightly bedtime talks and discussed if we hated our ex gf/bfs. There seem to be a similarity; in the end, the one whom we really loved but didnt work out in the end, are never hated, and would be willing to lend a helping hand if they are in need. On the flip side, we wouldnt care bout the ones who gave us short term 'happiness' and in fact is happy that we have moved on to better things. I have this tendency to curse fellows. But have learnt to withdraw for i fear karma.
I've been sick for the past 3 weeks, periodic. First it was diarrhoea and fever, then came running nose body aches and fever, now it's blocked nose body aches sore throat phlegm and fever. I wake up on most days wanting to go on medical leave, but hesitated and dragged my sickly body to work. Be taking some time off from work to visit the doctor. And she had better not waste my monies have me cured by Christmas eve. I want to enjoy my public hols! The bug has taken quality away from my life; goddamnshit. Now my plan to donate blood to celebrate christmas is ruined. goddamnshit.
A far away friend just got engaged, happy for her! It felt so recent our common friend was telling me how stringent her quality control is, blahblahblah, and now planning for marriage! Isnt it strange amazing how things change so drastically quickly, how our lives are shaped by the people we work eat live play work with.
I was looking at the marine life of lembeh straits/manado (at work and got caught red handed!!) and i realise how vast the ocean is to uncover! Cant wait for the dive trip to bali in July! Shopping trips to angmoh countries are good, but I think i'll be contented to go on a SEAsia dive trip yearly! I WANT TO TAKE IN NITROGEN!!!!!
Good news, 2009 Thurs work day ends at 5pm, which means i can go to school on all days! Yayy! Gonna miss alot of lessons in Jan by foreign lecturers but its ok. Contented to be able to attend class! Yayy!
School books for this semester cost almost $200. Not too ex, taking into account 2 rather useless dentaI books that cost bout $200+! Gotta start hunting for 2nd hands! Looking for 1) Principals of Macroeconomics by Stonecash, Gans, King & Mankiw 4th Ed, 2) Microeconomics by J Jackson & Mclver 8th Ed and 3) Financial Institutions & Markets by Ben Hunt & Chris Terry 5th Ed. Selling 1) Singapore Business Law by Benny 4th Ed with notes and past year papers.
On 8th, a public holiday, i had my fringe straightened at a neighbourhood salon. $30 saved me alot of trouble blowing my frizzies and many failed attempts at looking neat. Insist on them using Shished0, i think it's good.
Returned to my Sunday routine last week; work, dance, dinner with bestie. It was our maestro's birthday celebration, good time to drop by; b(r)ought chocolates to share. Stayed till surprise cake cutting, but left during the traditional birthday dance (where every female would dance a part of a song with him), partly cause i was running very late to meet bestie and friends. A huge part of me lacked the confidence to dance with teacher too; i haven't been dancing for 3 months, and would at all cost avoid doing anything that would potentially get me a tongue lash. I'm so thankful for the 2 men who invited me to the dance floor, tolerated my nonsensical moves and one of em' even lifted me off the ground countless times! It's Christmas milonga(party) next week and i should be attending, larh. If work doesnt tire me out too much. It's gonna be a potluck event, any suggestions? I'm thinking of having Shepard's Pie right NOW. All the rush to make it on time for dinner was very worthwhile. It's nice catching up over dinner and tea at a cafe my best friend and i used to frequent every week!
I just chanced upon someone's social networking profile and am glad he's now engaged to his gf of ? years. I know of someone who went through an arranged marriage; both supposedly highly paid white collared professionals. It's amazing to see how love can be cultivated with time and effort. So is it fair for someone to say, 'i dont love you anymore?' A friend of mine asked me a question and i'm still giving thought over it. It goes something like, would you still love the person if doesnt have money, lost his job, car and house? The answer is simple, yet ironic. There's this love conquers all ideology bout striving and working something out together, yet there's also a practical part to it. I don't want to worry bout having to make ends meet month after month. In conclusion, my love struck mind now tells me it's bout being with a person whom you can trust, relate to, go home to night after night, be willing to help to the best of one's ability, and be comfortable showing the kid in you. And no, i'm no love guru and nothing is ever smooth sailing. Something's bound to happen along the way, maybe later, maybe tomorrow, maybe days weeks months years later. As he said, at the end of the day, it's a want or don't want, no matter how big or trivial the issues.
Oh good lord. What have i been saying?!
So many of my friends have gone/are going on a trip; envious. Bali thailand hongkong shanghai taiwan blahblahblah. I cant wait for 2009! I want to test my dive presents when the northeast monsoon ends in March, and blow bubbles at molamolas in July! July marks the end of service to a bond for some, and it includes MINE!!! Yayyy!
My 2008 is ending on a good note; family's healthy, few asthma attacks (though alot of allergic rhinitis), found love, experienced diving and tango (salsa not inclusive), went on a weekend mission trip, met some awesome folks, went back to school, and what more i cant think of to thank heavens for. I think there're 2 things i want to do before 2008 becomes history. To paint. And whiten my teeth using take home whitening gel. I'm so reluctant to do the former cause a basic starters kit is so costly. And the latter too, cause i love tea and coffee too much. Plus, i don't like the discomfort (more like pain) of having to wear my ill fitting aligners. There was 0.3 carat diamond ear studs something i was hoping to purchase when i turned 21. But having school fees to pay for and a rationale mind kept that at bay. Still sane. Heng ar.
Soon it'll be spring cleaning, clearing out the closet and be clad in ching-chong attire ready for ChineseNY celebrations. I don't quite like ChineseNY. Us kids are always put in a difficult position. Gotta remind mum to stock up on frozen food for reunion steam boat dinner before prices start rocketing. Or has it already started its climb? Hmm.
The clinic's undergoing changes in everyone's shedules; i requested for my Mon Thurs Fri nights to be freed up but might not be possible on Thurs. So my guess is an entire self study module. My suggestion was to only see certain patients on Thurs night, and leave for school when these 'certain patients' are not scheduled for the night. And if i make it to the 2nd semester of 2009, all i pray for is that night class falls on my off days; Mon Fri Sat. Sighs. Haven't been eating/sleeping well. Been worrying my days away since the release of next year's timetable. What fuck. And school fees. So expensive you know! I've never lived month to month, there was always some spare cash in either accounts. But now i think i have to consolidate both sides and live on bread and rotten fruits. I refuse to ask for money from the old folks. All i want for christmas is fully paid education fees for the rest of my life.
Just a quick note before heading out for kd's birthday get together. I'm so glad (and relieved) my best friend is back from Bali. With all the hulabalas happening around the world, i've been checking out the web for happenings around the world, and i must say, no news is good news! It's the end of my lazy weekend. Another work week tomorrow. :(
I'm so scared. That in the end, i'll have to choose between working or studying. Next semester might (will) work out, but how bout 2nd semester of 2009? 4 doctors, (maybe 2) cant keep changing their work schedules to fit mine, right? I'm really scared.
Something's gotta give.
Giving up on school means a lot of money wasted.. and dreams dashed. Not working means a loss of income and a lot of stupidity, skill lack and what more i dont know.
How. Dont tell me to cross the bridge when it comes. I want a map; better still GPS. Someone tell me what to do.
Maybe i'll have to eventually skip all lessons. Buy books, go for last few lessons (and hope to get some exam tips) and rely on past year papers. Sounds like tough. I've always liked sitting in front rows at lectures. And i dont fall asleep lorrr.
At work, it's quite quiet these days; failed appointments, vacant slots. Shouldnt be. Nov was rather busy, yet fun, days passed fast, i liked it, i enjoyed working. Could it be due to the economical climate? Or environmental climate; rainy morning. I dont like doing nothing at work. It's not just a waste of time, but lots of monies too. There's nothing called smooth sailing. Everywhere has its ups and downs. Now i see why the oldies term the government sector as possessing job stability. No im not regretting. I'm (still quite) young and have a long way ahead. God just bless me.
I miss dancing. Asked 2 good friends if they're keen to go down today. (reply came, not keen) Good time too; teacher's birthday. But i'm scared to get into those stilettos too. I dont think i know how to do the tango anymore. Sighs.
Everyone has their own lives to lead. New lives with work, school, people, maybe. As for me, i'm startled by how much i've changed. My friends too. Everyone's growing up together. Maybe some went wayward, i did, and came back on track. If we sit down for a drink again 5 years later, what would we be talking about? I hope no one gets left out of the conversation. Cause we went to school together, worked together, celebrated birthdays and happy occasions together, grew up together.
I had a very slow day at work, and i barely spoke to anyone. I just wanted to be by myself. I cant imagine going through another day like this; it was horrible. So i started giving my inner self some thought, thoughts that were in the core of my very soul, exposed when i feel lowest, when all the pain and worries are temporarily forgotten during my highs. Why am i not equipped with knowledge vast enough for my profession. Why am i not in a profession i really want to be in. Why am i not receiving education i really wanted. Why did i not sit for a levels. Why did i chose all these for myself? I felt like giving up my dreams, altogether, when i haven't even tried. Even felt like giving up what i currently am working as. I just want to scrape. I even had suicidal thoughts, maybe homicidal. I felt like doing something simple. Very simple, like administrative work. Even that job has a long spelling, shit. I felt like i needed to do something brainless and with fool proof instructions. I waited for patients, saw them and was thankful the day ended at 8.30pm. I decided to spend some time at home today. Nothing the world can offer beats going home to home cooked food and loved ones. My sis's so funny and welcoming. I've nothing much to do at home. I don't do household chores outside of my bedroom. It's awesome lazing infront of the computer and tearing for nothing. It's therapeutic. Now i don't know what to do to cheer myself up. I'm away from my happy pill, and have to learn to be strong and humor myself.
I happened to be doing some paparazzi work on a social networking site, Fbk, when i chanced upon cws's photos. He's still wearing the watch i gave him years back. I hope he graduates with good grades and secure a job in this economic slowdown. I'm not regretting my decision of having to part ways, but i have this thought that lingers at the back of my mind. How can 2 persons who used to be so close eventually turn strangers? I don't want this to happen anymore. Else i'd be so afraid to love again.
Anyway.
My fever came again on Thurs night, literally burning my weekend away again. Decided to consult a doctor for medication a little stronger than Panad0l. I have to be well enough for work.
My semester results are out. I got a High Distinction for Statistics and Credit for Commercial Law. Had crossed my fingers and hoped for a distinction in Law, cause i need a good GPA at the end of it all. But i guess language papers access one's ability to fully understand a concept, pick out pointers and debate from various points of view. They're not out to fail you, but out to reward students with better reasoning, and that i lack.
Come Jan 2009, I have classes on Mon-Thurs for 3 weeks, but would have to skip alot of lessons due to work commitment. I feel ashamed to apply for leave every night, as that would mean a significant dip in clinic's takings. Subsequently, school's on Mon Thurs Fri nights.
I want to graduate with a good grade at the end of these 3 years. And at the same time, i have to juggle between work, family and friends. I dont even dare to state leisure.
From a business point of view, i can understand how my bosses feel about me not being flexible enough with my night sessions. Especially so with this economical climate, less people would apply leave for a dental visit, hence coming in only after office hours. But i really hope we can work something out (every 6months).
Everytime i think of tying work and school, i feel like crying. It's stressful-I'm fearful that i'd be asked to leave. I don't want to burden my parents with expensive varsity fees, let alone take pocket money from them. I like the environment (and people) at work, the clinic's philosophy and all the hype about progressive dental technology. With ever changing timetables every 6 months, I dont know how much value i am to the clinic, so all i can do is be my best at work, implement and set things in place as i deem right, cross my fingers and hope the remaining uni years sail by smoothly.
As for lessons that i'm gonna miss, i'll just have to take triple effort in borrowing books and catch up on whatsoever i miss. I dont want to fight a battle only to give up half-way, loosing both money and time.
It's not always sunshine on my side. In fact i'm tearing now. It sucks to be sick, teary and very hungry. Only 3 slices of traditional kaya toast this morning, made with lots of love thou.
Maybe i should just give up lah. Work, settle down, and wake up at 30 wondering what im doing with my life. By then, it'll be too late for any remedy, i'll keep working and die an old hag. Well done. Or maybe earth can have a cosmic blackout and wipe us (and cockroaches) out, bring back the dinosaurs and dodo birds.
Fuck.
But don't you worry 'bout me. I've always got a way to encourage myself.
I dont think anyone should ever lie. I dont know how to lie, either.
I think when one does something wrong to another, there's some kinda warfare within his soul. Akin to SidmundF's defination of id ego and superego, my id and super ego have been at warfare all day long. My id instinctly tells me to shun away from trouble and shirk responsibility by telling a lie, an shameless act of self defense. Cant help; i believe humans inherit evil and cunning instincts. But my superego takes over. I cannot live with a lie, and get on with life like nothing ever happened.
I cant remember when was the last time i lied. I'm no saint, but sane enough to admit to my mistakes and face the music.
God bless me. And my boyfriend.
i.. erm.. scratched the car's body kit and sports rims. :X
Hello Earthlings. Friday marks the end of my work week, and the start of a really horrid episode of fever and diarrhoea. Could have been the beef noodles I had for dinner on Thursday. That night, the pain was excruciating; I was kept crouching on the bed, wide awake. Usual miracle P0 Cha! Pills didn’t work, and I had a good 20mins ‘run’ at 4am. It’s colour reminded me of chocolate fudge and bits of matter like choc chips. Yumyum? Hell no. I swear it stank so bad M closed the door immediately when he came to check on me. I want to recover by Sat morning; I want the other half of my weekend in health, and return for work all well and not full of shit on Sunday. Of all days, freak accidents have to strike me, in the midst of nursing a raised temperature and stomachache. My 6.9mm thin phone found its way into the skeleton of the bed, wedging itself between pieces of solid wood, cloth and pure leather. So I thought, the worst that can happen is loosing your contacts, having to apply a new sim card and lay my tech-geek fingers on the latest phone model. We used tools like L brackets, screw driver and even a yayylow pages phone book against the bed frame that just wouldn’t budge! We were close to slicing the cloth and lever the phone, but 40 mins and buckets of perspiration and sheer hard work saved the day. The only good that came out of it? Alot of dust cleared and a promise to never leave things on the bed ever again. No, I didn’t get a scolding. ;)
Oula folks, I apologise for the lack of updates. Life's treating me well and i do hope it's sunshine on your side too.
It's my off day today, yayy!, and i decided to abstain from being a sloth. In 5hours, I became the laundry woman, floor manager and plumber. It's fun having creases disappearing from the shirt, but not so fun having to make sure they disappear for the nth time. It's easy throwing all the clothes into the washing machine and watch them spin, but coming to think 'bout it, it's gonna be folding and ironing all over again. It's amazing to know how much dust(and long hair) accumulate every other day, but not fun having to manually pick them out of the broom. It's effortless to swish-swash the mop on the floor, but exhausting business having to dry the tiles with a rag. And the choking bathtub, oh my, easy-peasily cleared with a pump from the convenience store. Yeah guys, thats how women claim all the credit.
Rewarding myself with a long bath, cold M!lo and a chocolate mint after being Maaria. I'm gonna have my eye brows professionally plucked later this evening!
All in an off-day. And it's back to 2 grueling full working days all over again. And the old folks go.. 'at least you have a job'.
* 12.40am Had dinner and did grocery shopping with my 2 most loved, the sister and the man. We were supposed to be on a strict diet, but chicken satay and char kuay tiao was too hard to resist! I'm feeling even more guilty for i just popped in a vanilla liquer truffle!
Horrible horrible horrible!
1.27am I'm doing nothing but so reluctant to turn in. I dont like awaking to a new working day.
Alot of things have been happening around me lately; absurd ex-gf stories, couples who used to be the sweetest things breaking up, some others getting married, some pregnant, some going on holidays, and others who have unachieved goals and dreams. And in it simply lies a creed to live by, 'to live for the now'. Not that one shouldnt plan for the future, but to hold dearly each and every moment now, to learn from experiences and grow from it.
2.53am Yawning but still not turning in..
I'm so tempted to colour, straighten and chop off half my tresses. It's shockingly unkempt after a good night's rest, and irritating having to keep them in place throughout the day. But i like my natural curls when they are nicely held up with stuffforhair leii, how huh? I'm getting sick and tired of having to draw my eye brows too. it sucks to be me..
IMPORTANT CALL FOR ATTENTION!!
Anyone keen to attend a lecture on i)pulp therapies in primary teeth (9/12/08) or ii)wisdom tooth management (12/12/08) course? Short message service me!
These 4months in the private sector has been amazing. I've learnt so much more on clinical diagnosis, and am still learning every other day, thanks to the doctors i work with. I dont know if they look down on my profession and capabilities, but that's beside the point. At least they are very willing to help. Moreover i dont think they do; Cause life goes on the somewhat the same, with or without me in their daily course of work.
It's so different over here; i can take my sweet time to talk and work on the patient, instead of having to worry about meeting quotas. Appointment times are pre booked, and i no longer need to attend to groups of mischievous fans and 'urgent' extraction cases during certain school hours. The parents are always looking at me while i work, but i've learnt to see light from a different angle. I can forewarn them of any complications that may arise and they are physically here to witness how naughty/apprehensive their child really is on the dental chair. I don't think i can handle being in the school clinic anymore; i cannot bear to change my tone anymore. Plus i'm too pampered here; no paper work and no cleaning, hooray! Of cause with these come greater responsibility of my actions; I dont have a 'statutory board to shield me' from law suits during the course of work, should they arise. At which is okay, cause they really didnt do as promised.
And just so you know, i did not leave because i couldnt manage what my precious job scope entails or because i did anything wrong. You should be ashamed if you have defamed me. Yes, you're right. I don't think i was in the wrong, at all. I'll forgive the imagination and mouth of any woman, for out of it comes undeniably perfectly gossip worthy stories, pleasing to the ears of any listener.
Work being work, has its own set of responsibilities and duties, fatigue and aches. But on the overall, i'm happy where i am now. Thou i can no longer be on medical leave as and when idontfeellikeworking. My only defeat is not having enough clinical knowledge on other treatment modalities and i dont think my use of composites is up to standard. But its alright, knowledge can be acquired and clinical skills can be learnt.
In every career is a challenge, and once one has overcomed, he reaches his comfort zone. I've stepped out. Have you?
There were no big parties nor stay overs. I was glad and contented to have dinner with pockets of friends. I didnt want to take the responsibility of catering for guests, worrying bout not enough to go around, etc. In simple terms, i think i'll go berserk if anything goes wrong. So i spared myself from going insane.
The most heart breaking thought had to be this.. It was 9th Nov, CWS's birthday, an ex bf of 4 good years. I woke up remembering it was his birthday, but i didnt bother texting him, since he didnt on mine. (yah la, now you know im petty too) The day went on with the man i now love, without occuring to me what CWS would be doing on that day. On the 10th, i couldnt help but told him, 'happy belated'. The reply was, 'thanks, hope you enjoyed yours too.' Thing is.. isnt it strange? How 2 persons who used to share their lives with each other become strangers and never reconcile even after 2 years? Writing this makes me feel like tearing, but it just wouldnt drop. Because all that is left now are faint memories of what used to be, of what could never be brought back.
On the 7th, i lazed the day away at home and met a group of friends for dinner at Shav!lla, in support of the chef. Chef is a general statement; i don't know what he does in the kitchen but since he's wearing the toque i suppose he's the chef? $28 nett brought a palatable fine dining experience that i wouldnt return to again. Haha!
Cabbed down to T!imbre; there, met dd and his collegues. The guys are really easy to get along with.
My cake writes, 'jovelle ruth 21st birthday. cool beans!' That got me thinking; independence day very cool meh? Now i can no longer tell others i'm in my teens. So.. someone gave that thought of mine great support.. by doing this on the uberthincrust pizza we ordered. Thanks Ian for the pretty card case!
9th Nov 2 events to attend; dd's friend's wedding at thebotanicalgarden's gingergarden. The very pretty bride and romantic tear dropping moments aside, lunch with his excollegues wasnt too bad. They're nice and easy to get along with. Bumped into a good friend of his while window shopping. Had a prize presentation ceremony to attend before catching 007. I love action movies and hot Bond girls!
10th Nov A puzzle from the bestie, trayc, who needs no introduction. I completed the puzzle!!! Filled in the heart shaped mosiac window on the castle.
tadahhh!
And that girl got me a set of bikini in turquoise with prettiest plaits!
11 Nov diamonds i can't afford to buy, for your birthday which just passed by. as you know im an ordinary guy, with money being in short supply. but i have affections that pile high, and love that reaches sky high. with you my love and affections will lie, no matter how the years fly.
Street dinner at 743N.BridgeRd. Really yummy at very affordable prices! Highly recommended! Closed on Mondays. Opened till 11pm.
Phew. 10am-9pm work on Wednesday is finally over and I'm aching from back to back appointments. It's really tiring having to bend here there everywhere; the PRC assistant just don't get it!. I've been so goddamnfking nice, i think i might burst and start teaching her- I'm still gonna tell/direct her what to do; and i think if i'm gonna explode, i'll say mean things like, 'don't you ever learn?'.
Yayayayaya, i'm not that nice, get it? Sometimes i wish extrinsic stains weren't in existence. I'll be better off alone; can go left-right-centre as and when i wish. And i dont need to adapt to having someone blocking me and my view on the left, i can be the leftie that i really am, instead of having to learn to use the right hand.
The day started with fearful daddymummyineedtohugyourleg kids who eventually kept coming in and out of the treatment room; it's a sign they like you. I went and talk to them, or rather, i went and tried to talk to them; they mumbled some gibberish i couldnt figure before running away. Santa should give them a small present for irritating me early at the start of the day. The elder girl of 3 years was so cute-she asked her brother of 2 of lie on her while his teeth was checked and cleaned. Very heart-warming aite!
There was this 4year old kid the day before, who had very badly broken down front teeth. I was building up composite while she slept soundly on the dental chair. Waking her up was funny. I whispered her name, which of cause eventually became louder, and she gave me this blur whereami whoareyou look. Showed her the mirror, and she asked when can she come back to have the other side done.
It's times like this that make being a dental nurse therapist fun; the adults only blame you for digging out their way-expired-periodontitis-causing-black-chunks-of-calculus.
Right before lunch was 'spring cleaning' for one of the clinic's regulars. Memorable cause he was joking the very moment i saw him, and i could counter his attacks in hokkien.
Hearty laughs with some of the team members over lunch. They coined me a new name. Surname: Ma. Name: Pi Jing. Meaning, bootlicker.
Midday; this ang moh wore roses in red,blue,white; ah-mar-li-kers color lorr! She broke news to me that the dashing bIack won! Please lah O-ma, do something to the economy can; i need to recover my money la.
I was so flattered when a girl friend texted me, telling me how beautiful a mask i lent her is. This 'nurse' caught me giggling as i replied to the text message, and she gave me that isthatyourboyfriendyou'remessaging look. I was even more tickled as i winked at her and tried terribly hard to control myself.
The day ended with a good 10mins talk with a client.
The only stressful times are overruns, which happened at 3ish today. But what to do.. shit happens.. Just do my best and move on lor. At least i had 30mins (dinner time) to rest.
Well, 11 hours, at least it started, went and ended well.
Had dinner with Jack-chicken rice & prawn rolls followed by his favourite dessert, beancurd! I love the ngoh hiang kinda prawn rolls. Its accompanying sauce is thick and sweet to the max! He got me a diving mask after 2days of hunting for it. The 0ceanic's mini shadow; yay! Erm, anyone wanna sponsor me a dive trip? So i can test the mask and jetfins dd got for me!
Had a good 20mins talk on the phone with dd. It's a joy and privilege to share my day with him; and im sure that feeling is mutual, even better if we were at our usual corner with music and yoghurt.
I feel so fair and chubby; i want to go for a swim late morning tomorrow. For now, i'm gonna down a bottle of chickenessence and turn in at 2am after doing some reading.
There're so many untitled posts, i thought November shouldn't start on ambiguity. There're thousand and one things that has been going on in my life, and running through this empty shell of mine, but Sat's dinner with TheFuglies, my poly khakis, shall be the highlight.
Saturday evening.
It was uber nice of dd (just for you, ms ng. he still remains one of my highlights la) to send me to RCity, at the expense of $2 ERP, notsoaringanymorebutstillveryexpensive petrol and getting caught in a jam while making his way to pick up mum and dad his parents. Our meeting time was 7pm, and I felt so bad for being 8mins late for the rest were waiting since 6.30pm, some even longer for they came from work. I was so tickled when we were catching up on what we do at work, how frustrated they we get with the assistants and someone eventually came up with a 3 point sermon describing her 'nurse' in full glory. It was funny with our warped sense of humor, coupled with really idiotic facial expressions. We were at the innermost area of the eatery, shielded from the shuffling feets and chatters of the Saturday crowd. But i guess we were quite loud, and probably irritated the diners on the other table.
As much as i see it as a long overdue bonding session, i cant deny it was a mini birthday celebration. How else can one have explanation for cake, candles and presents!?
I like the night dresses and necklace they bought me. The company that night was awesome. We can be out of touch for so damn long, but there're always stupid questions to ask, awkard silences to break, eyes to roll and things to eat! Pity they had to leave early; Carmen and i were left to bitch the night away.
I being a really practical being had one of the two identical necklaces exchanged. I had wanted to work within that receipt, but couldnt resist the bag i had wanted for the longest time-dates back to July! I have been a naughty girl; its time to curb such lavish spendings and start building my dwindled bank account.
I always get what i really want. Things that i really like/want have a space in my iPh0t0. If i can see it, i can have it.
Carmen and i were having a good chat at *$. That woman had to tempt me with chatting till unearthly hours, waking me up for breakfast and promising to be a good host! She accompanied me home while i unloaded barang and packed for work on Sun. I like the clean concept of her new 140 sqM flat. It was so much love and fun i think girls should always have stay-overs. She was such a good host i felt like going on medical leave! Responsibility issues took over. Had dinner after work, lazed for abit and collapsed on the bed.
* Some dental talk.
Recently, i started doing a quick perio probing for almost every patient after scaling. The results are astonishing. Most have 5-8mm pocketing on their posteriors and have to be placed under Initial Periodontal Therapy; return for full periodontal charting, LA S and take an OPG if needed. I cant imagine the number periodontitis cases silently killing everyone, patients leaving the dental chair thinking, 'my gums just got tickled again by that pretty thing!
45mins ago, MY BROTHER PROMISED TO GET ME MILKTEA ON THE WAY UP FROM LUNCH AND HE JUST SAID, " I DIDNT WALK PASS THE SHOP ". WHAT FUCK! Time now: 1.45pm.
Coming back from foul language, measuring standard deviation of .99 away from dental talk.
I need to do something bout this. In a 45mins appointment slot, i have to complete cleaning (and all that getting up to rest and rinse) in 35mins and have 10mins for a quick perio probing and patient education.
I hope this isnt a hype that brings me back to being a scaling-prophyjet mechanic. Because doing all that full perio charting and patient education is so old school; it is exactly what we dread during school days. But what if this is the standard of care the boss has a vision for? What if you're the boss? Will you make it happen?
Its my first off day since the last examination paper (on tues), which was followed by work till 9pm on Wed and Thurs. It was nice sleeping in till 11, then i started sulking (literally). Initial plans for the afternoon doing shopping/lunching were foiled when dd had to stay on in the office. So i sat down, right here, thinking.. What do i have, what do i need?
I have an urge to go shopping for a bag, I need (money, of cause) to excuse dd from shopping cause of his knee injury. I have a hint of disappointment cause its been way too long since i had some time away from routine and material enjoyment, I need to look at the situation from a different perspective; i cannot be selfish. And most importantly, I have a man who has piles of work to be done at the office; i need to be understanding.
So i have 2 choices; i can sit here, wallow in self pity, pout till my orbicularis oris muscles become fatigue. Or head out on my own, like i always do.
At this very point, dd called from the office! He'll be leaving the office at 3ish and we'll be heading to the IT Mall! I can get an errand done (the spoilt speakers), and RCity has some of my usual shopping outlets! AND.. We'll be able to spend time together, again!
Ok there's MSquare, RCity, STec, what else huh? PenPlaza? And coolbean shophouses at SeahSt! I shall be a good girl and refrain from venturing all over the CBD. RCity should quench my shopping thirst. So its happy friday! Erm. Should i wear a dress. Or go in my Pj's like a resident from TheRafHotel?
Hooray! Exams are finally over. Nevermind the results. They'll be out on 4th December. Pardon my choice of words, but i'm so f.king elated semester one is over. Dinner celebration tonight; im so gonna eat BEEF.
There're so many practical things to do, like booking the Sg Flyer cause mum sponsored us tickets, getting back into shape by exercising, renewing the practising certificate, settling outstanding bills, retrieving my internet banking user name and password, tidying my lecture notes, put up law textbook and notes for resale, clearing out the closet of old clothes, cleaning dust off the fan, air-con filter, window grill and blinds, revising the periodontal chart at work; basically, getting my life back into order.
Then there're things that satisfy the sloth in all of us, like doing some window shopping just to keep my fashion sense sane, laze the day away doing nothing productive/fruitful, be a couch potatoe (catching stupidly funny sitcoms on tv5, my favourite being TheN00se)
Work was hell loada shit on Wed, for i had an onset of allergic rhinitis. Even after taking 2 different kinds of antihistamines (ya, overdoes), my nose went on dripping like a tap and i had no control over multiple (like.. >5 ah choos at a time?) sneezes. I had to place wads of tissue paper between my nostrils and the face mask to act like a mucus shield. Boss sang me part of a song, tittled, Ruldoph The Red Nose Reindeer. Then there was this kid with an incredible imagination and magnification of pain. I got so frustrated coaxing her to do scaling, she got away with a polishing and a referral to the pedodontist. The only good that came out from the session with her was, my nose stopped dripping for awhile. For she was seated high and 90% upright, such that i was standing infront of her and my head neednt bend down. Must be due to the environment in the dental office, coupled with a lower immune system from lack of sleep. I'm considering whether to go for Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery after payment of my bond or not. I think it'd be a good investment. It really affects my work performance. I dont need such episodes of running nose to tell me that health is wealth. I get the drift, Mother Nature.
To top everything off, my 2months old x-m!n! speakers are spoilt. :( I think there's a one year warranty.
Post work dinner and a get-together session with K&C was great, as usual. We had a good near 3hrs of heart to heart talk and exchange of hot juicy news. Didnt take photos for i was the red nose reign dear and C started tearing after some talk. The only cam whore was K, who wanted to capture C's baboon-ass crying face so she'll look prettier in the photo. Hahahaha. Ya la, my friend very strange.
The cab fare home was swift and $6! Skipped the midnight charge-happiness! And come 11th/12th of Novemeber, the 30cents diesel charge will be levied off.
Its Thursday, 1238pm now, and im suffering from inertia effect to go to work. Looking forward to dinner tonight with EB. Oh yes, that man bought me 2 sports bra, in fashion fuchsia and maya blue, so that i'd be spared from wires while dining near his place. Or is it a hint that i need to start an exercise regime. Haha.
I'm uber glad im able to sell of my DSLite i bought bout a year back; going into the funds for my next tattoo. Passing it on to an ex poly mate, now collegues in the same field. I lost bout $50%, but it beats getting nothing at all. Its barely touched (after the initial 2 week hype) cept for weekly-fortnightly maintenance.
Just returned home from work at 5+pm; granny was at my place. She stayed over yesterday last night, questioned my whereabouts (hello, mum doesnt even question me!) and went on and on bout some issues of life; which i wasnt very keen on listening but heard nonetheless. My beautifully arched eye brows caught her attention. Tried it on her and i thought she had no need for an eye brow pencil; a brush and powder+highlighter would do her just fine. However, as with all old folks, who have gotten used to the idea of using (only) an eye brow pencil, was adamant bout its need. See, she's much fairer than i am, hair redder mine, and using a pencil (that i use) just wont do! Well, suits her if she wants to look like a wayang doll. All i wanted after a long day at work was shower nap and study. Good lord, save moi!
Its Sunday and i'm getting quite stressed up over Comm Law. There's too much to read and i cant recall much of what i read(ed). I hate to say this but 'i just want to scrape'. Sighs. The effort i put in during the mid-semester test is/has going/gone down the long kang. And the wayang show downstairs is making a din. No idea what procession's going on. Mum said, 'go over and study la'. I wish, but not tonight. I miss Ellice. Its Deepavali a public holiday and i've got to bury myself in insanely boring English law. Shit.
But it's alright. 1.5 more days and i'm gonna have 2 months of pure work and play days. Hooray!
I want to exercise, meet friends for long lazy coffee sessions, throw pack clean, and be a sloth.
*Inserted post dinner, 9pm. Does it matter whether i'm still part of the stat board or not? I doubt. Doubt i'd be in purple anytime soon even if i had stayed on. My clinical scrubs are somewhat like what the Purples are wearing; Wine being a pleasing colour aside, i guess there's this sub-concious part of me screaming, 'freedom reign!' Not that i'm complaining bout what i used to do. It's totally fine since other non clinical duties like ordering stock, being a receptionist, cleaning, etc. are part of the job scope. It's just me. I want to do what a clinician is trained to do. I want to take my time and manja little children. I want to have space to educate the public about their individual needs. I dont want to drill and fill like there's no tomorrow, worst, to plug in mercury fillings knowing that they do no good, and get happy when excess mercury surfaces on the top. Actually, amalgam fillings is a nice material to work with. The working time is so long, saliva doesnt affect adherence, and once locked into the cavity, flushes beautifully against the walls and that makes me happy-i cant deny. Anyway. I'd probably shut myself away from him right after the D!ve Fest, if i was still in the stat board.
I have no concerns bout our age differences which some people call a gap. I finally know what chemistry, as in interaction of characters, is. That man is my boyfriend, my next best friend, my listening ear, my encouragement, my patient, my cook and the maid. And the people i'd have an affair with is the various facets of his split awesome personality. Or race issues? Whoever says that things would work out chinese-chinese? Or at least, my parents didn't. I want a happy marriage, even if it means having to sacrifice sleep time to talk things make out (just to add spice to my very boring speech), living a frugal life, doing grocery shopping alone, etc. Anything but planning for kids and/or giving up my job. Even mum had qualms bout me being with him. She was looking at things from his perspective, not mine. (How unfair.) But not anymore. Over her birthday dinner, she see that we clique really well, and he gets along well with Ellice. So all of you can say anything you want to say bout us. You can judge or laugh at me-i don't care, really. Don't be cynical, for your own good-what goes around comes around, some call that karma. What matters is that we're happy, at least for now. And i hope this journey knows no end.
p.s. gave the blog a facelit; it's been black and white for 2 years, since the break up with Cws. i think i really am happiee jolliee candiee. *ya ya ya im a ninnie. Ninny i mean.
I miss my poly mates. I miss the post exam discussion everyone shared. Im not enjoying uni life, the social part at least. Go into exam hall alone, come out alone. Oh at least there's a discussion with a classmate(not sure if 'friend' here is appropriate) over the net. It's hard to imagine me saying this, but it's not fun attending lectures without doing anything naughty once in awhile. Naughty doesnt mean skipping lectures anymore (dates back to July 2004, uh huh fug sai). I cant imagine doing anything outrageous or naughty now-im a loner and a saint. Any ideas? Like dressing up for school? Joker, french maid, vampire, high school girl.. Oh i know. I can dress up as a
bus driver..
Or do The Medusa..
Or be Oprah opera singer for a day..
Or easy peasy, be a hedge pee bee nurse!
Right in my wardrobe, my dream Halloween costume and the fantasy of ALL men. Praise to god.
You really think i dare to wear that meh? Maybe if i alter it right up till my butt cheeks, don fishnet stockings and patent leather high boots la. And not forget to wear a MASK.
Ahhahahahaha. 7am and i'm still online. Gonna pang sai and start muggin'!
Hello loves, I just returned from an examination and long lunch with dad&sis.
Had wanted to get up early and do last minute revisions, but being tucked under the covers this chilly morning got the better of me. I had to cab to school cause dad overslept and didnt want to risk me being late for the paper. Thankful for clear traffic despite a rainy morning. Ironically, the thought of going for an examination's quite exciting, for the last i had was more than a year ago.
Vividly remember the gruelling late nights early morning study sessions for Den+al Hyg!ene paper, accumulating sleep debts, glasses of red bull drowned in ice cubes, staring at the exam questions trying real hard to recall bits of information, leaving the hall before the exam ended after a desperate attempt squeezing out passages of nonsensical answers, etc.
Those days are over, at least for preparations for Business Statistics. I had my fair share of sleep and net time, and during the paper, was fighting against time substituting numbers into the formula. There were only few things to remember; most of it being standard answers that would probably appear in PartB of the paper.
I'm so glad half of the battle is over, with Commercial Law to worry about. I've not started at all, and it really worries me though it's an open book test. The thing with open book test is being able to pick out points from the case and apply it Then i tell myself, there's no point in worrying; you've just gotta start somewhere.
So here i am, 4.14pm and still lazing the afternoon away. Better start somewhere; attending a birthday party tonight!
LadyBoss just called, my work schedule's gonna be reshuffled for the Nov Dec. At which i dont mind, though i now have (one) more commitment(s). *Whisper: EB's the most understanding man, right? Moreover, TheClinic has been very giving in my schedule on days i have lectures. Well, life's like that; give and take.
Had this sudden thought while reading, 'a good friend is one who doesnt blaspheme you, or have idle talk with others though it doesnt hurt you.' Strange.
The 3year old was tearing in fear as she entered. As i stooped to her level, she gave me a hug as i reassured her. That feeling is indescribable, for someone who doesn't fancy little children. And the compliments from her mother. :)
A family who were 40mins late for their appointment, who kept asking how long they'd have to wait, who's lil angel ended up in immense psychological pain after local infiltration, was prompted return for another attempt but refused causing stressful overruns, ended up wailing and not getting constructive treatment done. Who caused the next patient to wait for almost an hour (this stresses me!), who meowed at the front desk but eventually returned. Thank god she was forgiving; or were the staff and i tactful. I learnt to take a deep breath and move on, without carrying a baggage displaying ill professionalism to the next case.
The fair shair of caffeine/whatever stains, splatter from the prophyjet and fatigued hands and lower back.
Had a drink with some friends post work. In my 1/2 U; t shirt and scrubs pants. I had wanted to head home for a good rest, but the company was too hard to resist. Moreover, its' been ages since we met up. They gave me a pair of uber cute toe socks!
Sharing all these with my EB when my best friend called for company while going out for a puff. I forgot what we talked about, but it was nice being the subtly vulgar real me. Got so excited after the 8mins call, the conversation with EB took a different path; was all giggly, loud and happy.
Kaya toast and teh peng siew dai for breakfast is yummy!
Just received good news from EB, who went for a medical appointment regarding his right knee. No surgery needed! Yayy! Which means.. no knives no anaesthesia no risk, eau naturale bodily healing, no need to drive (him), no need to help with housework, no need to pamper him upsized. EVEN MORE HAPPINESS FOR ME AITE!
*study break time, for the nth time. Lol.
CN just called; time check:4.47pm. Cant wait for Fugs gathering thou we bitch bout the same o' issues. Organiser who's still in the ghar-ment sector, please spare a thought for our bond-break,broken,broke pockets.
I miss \/\/eisheng's parents, occassionally. But i feel too ashamed to drop by for a visit. Im no longer on talking terms with their son, and i dont think i deserve their welcome.
We spent a good 4 years together; and i cant recall much of it. Was there love, i began to question myself. Or is it just me; i forget memories too easily. Rather, how can we define love? Maybe he'll reappear during the last few moments of my flashbacks when i pass on- well, who knows.
I wish i can thank him for the good 4 years we spent together, going to places, trying out new stuff, etc. I wish he'd know that there was no cheating; we were pure, but somehow it died. Or maybe i changed. Maybe we changed. Maybe either of us couldn't adapt to the change. I wish i can thank him for helping me during my O level days-he changed my destiny.
On social networking accounts, i still see the same person i used to cherish and love. The guitar, the thick eyebrows, the metrosexual fashion sense, the wide smile. The difference is, that smile is no longer gonna be at me, for me. Tunes from the guit are no longer gonna ring for me. Its been more than a year since we broke up; let all these be bygones.
I hope he finds someone who loves him for the person he really is; and not because of his future prospects. He is a family man, an exceptional gentleman; albeit a little hot tempered. I hope Aunty and Uncle are doing better than never, enjoying their pre/retirement years in blessed health and joy.
On my side, i dated a variety of men after the break up and i'm not ashamed i did. Only after, did i know what's good for me, who are the decepticons, who left me in the lurch, what it felt like to not be myself, how superficial it was to dress up all prim and proper just for a drink in town, etc.
Things are changing for me, too fast. But im ready to embrace this change. Its funny how times flies, how i finally broke my bond for another experience, how i am committed to a man now, how i can finally accept the idea of living with another being i've not seen the past 21 years of my life. Sometimes i question myself, how did i make it thus far, what did i do to deserve all these. But i guess its just how life has its way of working things out, even in the dimmest moments. Its just about holding on until the sun shines again. Now i see my rainbow.
Cheese Ham Tub of Yogurt Fruits Canned Rambutan Milo Red Bull Beer Water Coke Fresh Milk Brown Rice Soya Bean Milk Wine Choya Plums Dark Chocolate with Nuts Dark Chocolate with Mint Sng Buay Wet Tissue Ketchup/Chilli Sauce Soup Stock
Recent Roll in iPh0t0 Quantity over quality shots. Out of 32 cannot make it shots, I think this photo most chio larh. What say you? I should ALWAYS open up my eyes, arch my eyebrows a wee bit, bring my head forward, chin down a little, stomach in, chest out.
iTunes Playing h0me by Daugh+ry, and this verse never fail to jump right at me. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all
Grocery Shopping List Chicken Essence Red Bull Toilet Paper
Wish List
Tiffany's Letter Lock Charm Bracelet / Return To Tiffany Heart Tag Toggle Bracelet / Tiffany 1837 or Alphabet Lock Bracelet Bikini Oakley's Mini Crosshair in brown/gold 4 pointer diamond ear studs-the stock market is gonna buy me this, eventually. iMac 20" 2.66GHz Luxury timepiece (casual & office) Mini Shadow Mask Scubapro Jet Fins & high cut good rubber sole booties DARLING GOT EM FOR ME EVEN BEFORE I SUBMITTED THIS POST! HAPPINESS! Eau naturale fast action up a cup boob cream! Haha! Wads of cash & shopping vouchers Fully paid trip for 2 to Maldives
And a new dress to wear on my birthday!
Actually.. i dont need any of the above material goods.. I get by without them. I want my friends and family members to be happy and healthy. I want to do well at school. I want financial intelligence. I want my marriage to work out, in future.
At baseline, i want a place in Dentistry. Sighs.
Anyways, marriage is akin to one of life's milestone. And my friend's proposing with a 1.02 pointer rock. (JUST THE RIGHT SIZE DUDE!) And im sincerely happy for him. We could had hit off, but time wasnt on our side. I'm glad he found his soul partner, and maybe, i've found mine too. Only time will tell.
Trace was so sweet to send this in the midst of preparing for her examinations, 'Happy one month to the both of you. Glad you guys found and love each other. No replies needed, just smile and cherish each other. ..' At which came shocking; we didnt even realise. Moreover, everythings happening like a lightning bolt.
i heart this woman!
There's this group of friends in my life i've know for a good 9 years, yeah, since secondary one. We had (on off) moments of togetherness; i disappeared, somehow. Magically, i find my way back to a bond they share. They are an awesome bunch of fun and joy. They are not perfect people; no one is. This 21st, i'm gonna have dinner with them at Shav!lla. One of the boy's gonna cook, and we're there to support. This boy and i had our ups and downs, and i thought we'll never be on friendly talking terms again. But i was (just) proven wrong when he invited me, personally, to a dinner with the rest. I find it amazing how everything piece up in the end.
I cant wait to get exams over and done with. Its been too long since i had a saturday free of agenda; there was school to attend, errands to run, etc. I want to .. Sleep the morning and afternoon away-ya, the kind you wake up feeling like shit cause you feel you've wasted the entire day. Bitch bout life over coffee with some friends. Get on the Sg Flyer with sis and EB. Spend a day in JB having brunch, ice cream and coffee, catch a show and return to Sg as pirates. Laze the day away with The Loved One and probably(highly unlikely) help out in some household chores. Get back to the Tango routine; learn a new dance. Be a blessing to the less fortunate. Make plans for my uber mini scale birthday gathering. Attend Ric's early birthday celebration.
While studying, a flash of my next body art (read: tattoo) design came to mind! Gonna ponder over it for some weeks, maybe months. Big scale project y' know!
Been itching for a dental mission trip. Its tiring business but it brings great joy and fulfilment.
Was looking at old photos and it brought back many memories. Bitter sweet.
Your Highness butt is _______ having sat on the wooden chair without a cushion for too long.
Sighs. Gotta renew practising cert by Nov 08..
I'm gonna (most likely) sign up for Tango3 in the midst of exams. 24th morning exam, 24th evening 1st lesson! But on the other hand, i've been out of the Tango scene for a month and counting! How now brown cow.
Surprised mylove with a gift, at which he was pleasantly surprised. I realised, that as much as we should work within our bugets, we shouldnt give someone something that doesnt cost us anything.
In a relationship, i think it's important to respect each other's personal space; giving ourselves time to hang out with our friends and be with the family. Anyone can leave and abandon us, but it is the family who we eventually go back to, friends whom we find support and comfort in, etc. And i guess mylove and i balanced that well. I guess most of you must be facing some form of neglect from me, apologies on my part, but i really am not 24/7/365 with mylove. I've been working, settling some personal issues and preparing for my exams. Oh boy, speaking of which, I really am way behind planned exam study schedule. Anyways. I like it that we are courteous and enjoy serving each other. No pun intended. I meant a simple 'thank you darling', 'i appreciate you' and little gestures like pouring a glass of water, placing the flipflops on the shoe rack, tooth-paste.ing the toothbrush, doing the dishes, preparing yogurt and fruits, etc. I'm grateful that he takes the effort to wake earlier/pay ERP to have a quickie (breakfast@my area's market lah!) before going to work. And i think the foundation of our relationship lies in communication. I cant stress enough how much we talk bout our days' happenings and issues bothering us, track our days with each other in a log book and address issues/words that the other did/said that hurt our feelings. To top everything off, he gets along well with my sister and my best friend. They are important people in my life, and they have to approve of who i am with/what i am doing. I get along well with his collegue(s) too; we always laugh ourselves silly while out with them. I can be tired from running errands, work and studying but am pampered. I want to remain understanding, dependable yet independent and erm, loyal. After an ordeal, we've spend countless joyful moments together in each others' company. It's been an awesome ride that we hope knows no end.
Had prata breakfast with his collegue, Spongebob&g.f. before heading to J.B.. While waiting for the modification of his car, we went jalan jalan, had a hair cut&treatment (mine costed RM150! Quite ex eh!!), pedicure(Spongebob) and lunch@KennyR.Roasters! They thonged my hair, straight. Straight hair is much more manageable than my frizzy/curly wurlies. I feel like straightening my tresses and chopping them off to chin level. Maybe short hair is the thing to do NOW. Then back to growing my eau natural curly wurlies, all over again. Anyways. We've been wanting to go for a photoshoot; checked out a studio at J.B. and it's gonna cost us RM1200 for 4 outfits & makeup, 21 pages of 8R photos and an 8R table top photo+frame. Putting that idea off for now.. Topping up bout $380 can fly us both to Perth in Feb 09!
14th October 2008, Tuesday
Some people wait for things to happen, it's ok if it doesnt. Some make things happen, they do whatever it takes to get to where they want to be. Some dont know whats happening.
Clinic photoshoot shots are out and it's obvious who's photogenic and who's not. I belong to the latter. I look fat in 95% of the photos. My usually doe shaped eyes way underrated, my supposedly angled jawline showing meat, my button nose made even more button. Horrible creature.
I cannot tolerate people who always talk bout themselves. They are the ones who can barely hold a conversation. Nuff said; Utter disgust.
Sg's heading for a recession, or are we already in? I cannot stand my brother waking late, while the day away, meets his friends, play electronic games, be with his girl; everything but work. But it's consolation that he's doing well at school; at least thats what he says. He tells me he'll start looking for a job 2 weeks later after the rush is over. Thing is, would there be one? Anyways. Cookie, a pet name for a guy friend, recently spent 100 on CKJeans, 300 on Oakley's and lost 7 in a game of mah-jong. That's the way to go, buddy. Save the economy! :P
I think there's a healthy, silent competition going on between mylove and i in FaceB's W0rd Challenge. HAHA! Or at least thats what im thinking. "Ruth, dont be sensitive larh", is what im trying to drill myself. Minutes after i wrote the above statement, i realised he challenged me to a game of W.C.! HOW AUDACIOUS. Shall score ZERO for the 1st round. Afterall, cannot hurt a man's ego, isnt it?
The Company arranged for a photoshoot and lunch@/-\stons. I was so camera shy (really!) and lunch was nothing to rave bout. To top off the generally substandard service, my steak came medium-done when i asked for medium-rare. The blood and elasticity makes all the difference-they don't know.
Arrived on time for medical appointment at RH, and had to wait an hour for a 10mins review. I HATE WAITING without being told for how long. Overruns are common business, i understand. But i could had done more in that hour. I could had met a friend for a chit chat, i could had gone studying at a cafe, i could had made use of my time instead of (aimlessly) browsing fashion magazines. Horrible. And that consult burnt another hole in my already burnt pocket.
But its okay. If money could dissolve a worry, its not too big a problem is it? Afterall, money can be earned and saved again. :)
Exams and time scheduling is freaking me out too. I've got no time left to study thoroughly. Wish i had started earlier-we always say that, and never get down to it nor learn from past experiences, do we?
Situations that attrite me most are arguments. 80% of the time my brother and i get into each other's way, he gets on my nerves. Remaining 20% is bout asking the other to bathe quickly, to purchase/collect/pick up something. I think its only right to knock before entering a closed door, and not yell back at me (ya lah, i yelled first) for changing in MY room behind CLOSED doors. Fucktard, he is. I think all he needs now is a breakup(seriously), get a job, contribute to the household, finish his education, work and contribute to the household. And so he thinks he deserve more wage, more complicated projects at his previous job, etc. I think he doesnt quite understand what's wrong with him, his attitude and the concept of paper-chase in Sg. I hate seeing him sleeping till early afternoon. Or worst, ask where i've been when i return from work at 9ish. He should make himself scarce. Or just get out of my way.
I LOVE MY SISTER THOU. She can throw her clothes around and i can clear it. She can take up 3/4 of the bed and i can sleep on a quarter. I'd do anything for her.
Im so thankful for my.love, who on an empty stomach, waited for me to open up and tell of my day's happenings, comforted me, offered help, and wiped my tears away. He's my happy pill and the best thing that has happened. I couldnt ask for more. I dont deserve this. No friends, he is not just another date. This time, its true. Or at least thats what i think. I want to do my best and not perform any stunts to traumatise our friendship and love. I dont know what will become of us. If there is love and an effort to work things out, i guess all issues can be resolved, or at least compromised. I want a happy marriage (if i do get married) and not end up like Mum and Dad. Their relationship has, in some way or other, placed an impact on us, children. But i want to conquer my own fate. And live till a reasonable age with my other half, holding hands and going for a morning exercise and breakfast.
*
This morning, Ping showed me a blog of a girl, who celebrated her 16th on a boat, which i think the rich call a yatch. And her 18th in a ShangGL presidential suite. For what huh, im still wondering. All that running around in skintight dress, booze, noise and mess. I'd love to be spared. Most of my friends are done with their 21st, and im pondering bout what to do with mine. Oh well, nevermind. I'll see to it after my last paper on the 28th.
" I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel. "
Isnt it strange, how a turn of events changed my entire perspective. Isnt it strange, living in reality that feels like a dream.
It was an affirmative talk and hold in the dark, It was the acts of service that touched my heart.
Isnt it strange, why i waited so long to find a love so very strong. It is you that made change in my heart.
Isnt it lovely everytime we talk, with dimmed lights burning candles, and tunes of romance accompanying your glittering eyes oh so intense accompanying your depth of life oh so deep reaching into matters within our hearts.
Isnt it silly of me to tear when we talk, it made me realise how important you have become.
Isnt it lovely to hold you every night, turn down the lights and sleep real tight.
Isnt this a fantasy, or is it ecstasy. Let this be love let it grow.
I just went for an op (dont ask if you're not told) on Tues and Mon.amour's been taking great care of me, attending to my needs and looking into every detail just to make sure im making my way to speedy recovery. After drowning in utterly disgusting essence of fish and home cooked meals with tender loving care, i was up and about in no time!
I decided to whip up a dinner for Mon.amour. Goes without saying, my beloved sis and her mother is in for a treat too. After all, its easier to cook for 4 than 2, isn't it.
Went marketing (getting everything myself for the first time) and returned home with chicken carcasses, breast (meat), (large) prawns, chye sim, corn, garlic, ginger and onion. Got down to washing and ripping fats off the chicken and soup was set to brew.
On Tuesday, i was informed that my only case today is at 6.30pm. This morning, i was told to return to work at 2pm. Right after Puasa, the slots were >65% filled-i guess i have allah to thank for. Or perhaps not-i cant go home and prepare dinner!
Determined, or maybe stubborn, i had everything marinated, washed and chopped before heading for work. I want to do it today-my way or no way. My estimate's bout 20mins to get dinner servedpacked, very yummy and piping hot.
Menu *chye sim with prawns stir fried in garlic onions and ginger (have to learn to live by 2+2; 2 servings of fruits and veg daily) *baked (chicken) breasts (men are so in love with dang-dangs aren't they) *corn soup simmered with chicken carcass and 7 red dates. I forgot the carrots. *fragrant thai rice
Apologies if i've bored you with my long winded story. Cant you tell i'm finally, seriously in love?!
Life's thrown me abroad with loads of surprises these few weeks. But i thank the lord for lifelines; my friends and a special someone who has been there for me through it all.
"im not afraid of anything in this world. there's nothing you can throw at me that i havent already heard."
Tracy, who worry for me more than i do. Who makes time for me. Who laughs and cries with me. I would never ever do anything to traumatise the relationship we share.
My dive mates-they never fail to bring joy into my life. I can laugh myself silly while out with them. They dont know but they brought relief to my world just by being the person that they are. And i know that if i should ever need a listening ear, they'd there.
Not forgetting Fuglies-photos we took during poly days still sitting on my wardrobe. They make up 80% of what i remember from school days. I miss the times we skip class, have MacDs together, mock and roll our eyes at each other. But all of us have moved on. We lead our individual lives, we don't know what's happening to each other now. And the last i heard of the 2 most distant folks, they are happily attached/dating. I wish all of you the very very best at work, be it in the private or government sector.
And xxx, whose name and face i shall not reveal as yet. Who doesn't mind my past nor current. Who pampers me silly, accept and appreciates me for the girl i really am, who hears and advices me. Who was there for my dive friends(whom he hasn't even met until that fateful day) and I when we met with a seriously damaged car accident on Sat. I don't know what will become of us. I just want to cherish the now.
Don't ask bout the car accident. All thanks to the cabby driver and his boney Indian passenger. The other passenger and I would had made the same move like the driver did. Fucks to his passenger, who must have caused the accident for changing her mind, causing the driver to cut across the chevron markings and colliding into us. Oh did i just tell you what had happened. Anyways, the cab driver was a lil worried bout his passenger, who opted to head up the ambulance. I told him, "she can still walk in her heels, call her friend and whine. She's okay lah."
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For a long time, i've been wanting to air my thoughts bout dental amalgams over the world wide web. But this being controversial issues, i held back, till now. This post was sparked by a letter i opened this morning, regarding the use of dental amalgams with mercury content.
The letter stated concerns arising from the inhalation/ingestion of mercury vapour, followed by lines after lines of affirmation that the use of amalgams do not exhibit adverse side effects. I shall not comment much on the letter, but here are my views on the subject matter, dental amalgam.
AR(amalgam restorations) expand with age, allowing secondary decay to develop. These decays are hard to detect in its early stages and by the time something is done, it often is too late, leading to the need for more complicated procedures. In fact, there is no chemical bond between the tooth surface and an AR.
AR wedges against the tooth due to temperature changes. Overtime, the tooth cracks and often, a crown may be needed to restore its functionality, and this, has no guarantee that its gonna work.
In the long run, AR stains the walls of the cavity, giving rise to teeth assuming a grey tinge.
Other than obvious negative aesthetic issues, AR releases mercury vapour which might have an effect on the CNS. I for one wouldnt want to put my patients, myself and future generations(if any) at such risks.
As such, i think there should be a system of change implemented in the usage of dental amalgams. If there are researches done to prove its effect on the CNS, no matter how minute, should not be disregarded.
The dental profession is an acquired skill, and a rice bowl to many. What if you were told that these mercury vapour is accumulated in the body over time? What if your kid is having an AR plugged in today?
Its not that im trying to be anal and atas bout the usage of new generation materials. I think mercury, as much as it is 'bonded' with other metals and hence does not pose a risk to the exposed personnels, this risk should not be taken.
Since a switch in work environment, i've seen cases of tooth walls chipping, with the AR still retaining its shape-yah talk bout straight walls flat floors and undercuts. My stand is, i rather have a filling chipped than a tooth chipped.
If cost is all the one is on the look out for, i must say that it isnt too cost efficient in the long run. Yes, new aged materials may be more costly but they bond to the tooth, some have fluoride releasing properties (rechargeable or not huh?) and usually pose less issues down the road. The analogy is like driving a normal sedan vs a 4wheeled drive vehicle on loose gravel/mud. Both would run, but eventually, the normal sedan breaks down or requires much servicing before it tries to catch up with the 4WD.
I know my friends have no choice but to continue plugging in amalgams. I was once in that state but it was no dilemma to me. I stuck with the use of tooth coloured fillings on permanent teeth. It didnt matter much whether i would be questioned or not. I knew i was following a reasonable school of thought, and should not be held liable. In any case, i've always informed patients which tooth has a filling, and to return if they feel a sharp edge, chip or complete dislodge of material.
**
I cant erase the stupid things i did, i struggle just to find a better way. So here i am, fighting and trying to hide the scars. So take a breath and softly say goodbye. The lonely road, the one that i should try to walk alone. The queen has lost her crown again.
Saya had an extremely enjoyable day off. And i guess its the last till exams are over. I have to start hitting the books, seriously.
My kawan and i had breakfast at Pekk!o Food Market before heading to the Causeway. We were so thankful it was a smooth drive down, tak jam. It was alot of fun for i gave my humble opinions when choosing the rims, console box and gauges. Alex, the boss, was kind to dual circuit those gauges, such that they come on red when the pilot light is switched on, and white when the headlights are in use. Coolbeans! The body kit and spoilers were ordered long ago and mounted on today. I thought the blue looked a lil darker than the car's body but Alex reassured us that it'll blend with some sun exposure. Another trip is needed to fine tune those gauges. Oh ya! A Transformer's logo was mounted on-cute eh! Ok maybe cute's not the word for a man's thing Total damage after reasonable bargaining: Approx 5,600RM. Now i understand the joy when a boy man has his car modified. The joy is akin to us buying a branded handbag we had been wanting for the longest time-happiness and excitement purified, i tell you.
While waiting for the evolvement of the beng car, Alex gave us a lift to Jusc0 Ae0n +ebrau. For lunch, I had a huge slab of beef and he had 3 measly sticks of chicken, served on a heated stonegrill. You'll never understand how carnivorous i felt at that instance. It was accompanied with french fries and mixed vegetables-yeah those disgusting peas, carrots and corn we used to detest as a kid, and still do. I had wanted to get some work clothes, to no avail-the things i took fancy upon had shops in Sg. We took a cab to Holiday Plaza at RM12. It wasnt just a 20mins suana ride. Half of me was baking in the sorching sun. There, we had a drink and spicy fries @ MacD's before heading for Thai massage which was shiokness to the max! He bought MacD's for the guys. Alex picked us up in the newly modified stylo milo toy car, had a free manual car wash before heading back to the shop. While the technicians tied up some loose ends, we had a light zi char dinner at the roadside hawker. The drive back to Sg was a smooth one too. I was home by 9.20pm, totally worn out from the day's activities but felt it was a day well spent, nonetheless.
The few commonly used melayu words are still floating in my mind.. saya besar aku kechil tengnor chantek hitam
Above all, thank you darling, for doing the marketing with me and helping out in the kitchen. What would this season be without your love and you.
