Good Morning Starshine.
My weekends are finally here, and you greet me with silence.
It's not that i choose to while the night away doing literally nothing. I wish i can fall asleep; i can and i would if i had work the next day. Part of me hope tomorrow never comes; i've been worrying about a forex-report that i've yet to lay my hands on. It's a group work but none of us have given positive inputs, including myself. Not to mention 4 upcoming tests. I like to put stress on myself. It lets me know that i've got something to do, and when test is over, i'd feel double joy. Self deception? Yes.
I can't wait for March to end; it'll be the end of mini scale tests and reports submission, and the start of exam preparations. Get this school term over and done with, up my clinical sessions during the mid year peak and take a short break in end June.
YAY! SunnyCove is organising a trip to SIPADAN on 26th to 30th June! I. Can't. Wait!
Work today has, o well, been good. 2 patients asked about my role as an OHT and were impressed at the changing level of care, while it has became our standard of care and are finding ways to further improve.
The oral region is so complicated, not to mention the human body. I've still got a million ton to read and read. I need more knowledge on trauma in children, and a whole lot more on current practices in periodontology. I wish i was still a dental student; we were entitled to ask stupid questions.
I've been trying to cut down on carbohydrates and meat, been a great success thus far. My body now craves for fruits vegetables and home cooked food. It's strange. I've always been a carnivorous. I don't want to be a walking bamboo; i just want a leaner overall. Don't talk bout exercise. I know that's the way to go but i've really got no motivation to start running anymore. I'm so drained after work, and on my off days i just want to vegetate, sip coffee, fix myself lunch/dinner and study abit.
This weekend, i hope to get a (read: ONE) dress for two wedding occasions on 21st and 22nd of March. Any sponsors?
The haze is contributing to my insomnia. I'm coughing away but refuse to switch on the air conditioner, until i feel asthmatic. It's so costly!
I can get angry when i sleep with my mei. She takes away the flatter pillow and bolster, spreads her limbs so far and wide i feel i might just fall off the 2.6k bed i bought with my hard earned money.
In these times of changing human sleep patterns, i demand 2 queen sized beds joined together in my matrimonial flat. I need my space!
Almost 3am and i'm starting to feel tired, finally. I hear the shutters from the market right below my humble abode. They are doing washing and preparing my brunch. Soon it'll be (late) morning.
Good Morning Sunshine.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
None of anyone's business
To: Friends of my bro's childhood, and thereby my acquaintances.
I am not comfortable having you (all) in my home. You stare at me when i walk around with freshly baked bah kua, clad in my torn and tattered npcc t shirt and boxer shorts. Nevermind that. I pee in fear that you might break through the doors. Nevermind that. Sometimes, you watch videos, play games and laugh out loud when i'm trying to study. Nevermind that. You are not in school nor in the workforce; it's none of my business but please don't drag my dear brother into this. We're not well to do and have our mouths to feed. If you'd just go away and leave him bored, he might find a job.
All of you should start doing something constructive.
I'm so disgusted. With you. (all).
I am not comfortable having you (all) in my home. You stare at me when i walk around with freshly baked bah kua, clad in my torn and tattered npcc t shirt and boxer shorts. Nevermind that. I pee in fear that you might break through the doors. Nevermind that. Sometimes, you watch videos, play games and laugh out loud when i'm trying to study. Nevermind that. You are not in school nor in the workforce; it's none of my business but please don't drag my dear brother into this. We're not well to do and have our mouths to feed. If you'd just go away and leave him bored, he might find a job.
All of you should start doing something constructive.
I'm so disgusted. With you. (all).
Friday, February 13, 2009
Enneagram
Hi aww! Just read your blog and did the test on http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php!
I'm an..
Enneagram Type 3 - The Achiever (wing 2)
Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation
People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard working, competetive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the "sexiest" woman in their social circle. They are often "self-made" and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need. Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and sometimes charismatic. They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But, while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming "losers."
Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.
Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require external validation, Threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive" mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies.
Threes can sometimes mistype themselves when they mistake the more superficial features of their personalities as indicators of their type. So, for instance, an intellectual Three might mistype as a Five; a Three who is devoted to her role as mother might think she is a Two; a Three in a leadership position might mistype as an Eight and so on. Regardless of the manifestation however, the core of the type Three fixation is the deep need for external validation.
I'm an..
Enneagram Type 3 - The Achiever (wing 2)
Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation
People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard working, competetive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the "sexiest" woman in their social circle. They are often "self-made" and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need. Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and sometimes charismatic. They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But, while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming "losers."
Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.
Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require external validation, Threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive" mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies.
Threes can sometimes mistype themselves when they mistake the more superficial features of their personalities as indicators of their type. So, for instance, an intellectual Three might mistype as a Five; a Three who is devoted to her role as mother might think she is a Two; a Three in a leadership position might mistype as an Eight and so on. Regardless of the manifestation however, the core of the type Three fixation is the deep need for external validation.
Monday, February 09, 2009
16 Things About Me Now
1) I've been shedding alot of hair since i straightened them. I hope my hair stops growing so it'll always be straight. Nevermind the length, my ex clinical partner has proven that hair extensions do magic, and they dont come off easily.
2) I prefer reading macro to microeconomics cause the prescribed text follows lecture notes more closely.
3) It's tough to start the study engine going cause there're just too many distractions at home. These distractions have a common characteristic; they are boxes with lots of colours eg: handphone, computer, television. Not to mention my brother who came in to have a chat with me.
4) I don't know if/when i'm getting married. Cause i'm not financially stable, much less attained financial freedom. So please stop asking me.
5) My sister is in sec 4, taking her O levels this year. How time flies.
6) I've been itching for a dental mission trip, or help some old/young folks who are much less fortunate than i am.
7) I don't know why but i like to be involved in many things at one time. No wonder i'm always complaining of a lack of personal 'me' time.
8) I want to be involved in setting up the SgDentalHygieneAssociation/SgOralHealthTherapistAssociation but am afraid to step out and get down to it. Actually, i'm lost as to who to approach in the dental fraternity. After the .gov bizzare in school days, i don't think writing straight to the registry of societies is the right thing to do.
9) I wish everyone could stop plugging in amalgams cause they are so yester-century.
10) I need a compliment every now and then, ideally one a week; they keep me going and let me know that i'm on the right track and can do even better.
11) I'm not going to Bali(with M) anymore cause i've heard of too many bfgf-go-bali-and-eventually-breakup stories.
12) I need more cash. School fees are so high. I haven't gotten a nice blouse since so-long-ago.
13) I've not had a home cooked meal since reunion dinner night.
14) I will miss carmoh calling me in the middle of work. She's leaving for Melb and i'm happy for her. She has done fuglies proud.
15) I'm glad CNY is over; I'll eat beef without feeling guilty, i can study in peace without clangs of cymbals and nian-scaring drum beats. It's not as if we have fifteen days of public holidays right. I've had my fair share of yu.sheng anyway.
16) I'm quite ashamed of my spoken mandarin; the french (ang moh!) family understand me better in chinese. I'm chinese but i grew up eating kan dang.
17) Face it. We are (I am) self centred. 93% of this post is about I Me Myself.
2) I prefer reading macro to microeconomics cause the prescribed text follows lecture notes more closely.
3) It's tough to start the study engine going cause there're just too many distractions at home. These distractions have a common characteristic; they are boxes with lots of colours eg: handphone, computer, television. Not to mention my brother who came in to have a chat with me.
4) I don't know if/when i'm getting married. Cause i'm not financially stable, much less attained financial freedom. So please stop asking me.
5) My sister is in sec 4, taking her O levels this year. How time flies.
6) I've been itching for a dental mission trip, or help some old/young folks who are much less fortunate than i am.
7) I don't know why but i like to be involved in many things at one time. No wonder i'm always complaining of a lack of personal 'me' time.
8) I want to be involved in setting up the SgDentalHygieneAssociation/SgOralHealthTherapistAssociation but am afraid to step out and get down to it. Actually, i'm lost as to who to approach in the dental fraternity. After the .gov bizzare in school days, i don't think writing straight to the registry of societies is the right thing to do.
9) I wish everyone could stop plugging in amalgams cause they are so yester-century.
10) I need a compliment every now and then, ideally one a week; they keep me going and let me know that i'm on the right track and can do even better.
11) I'm not going to Bali(with M) anymore cause i've heard of too many bfgf-go-bali-and-eventually-breakup stories.
12) I need more cash. School fees are so high. I haven't gotten a nice blouse since so-long-ago.
13) I've not had a home cooked meal since reunion dinner night.
14) I will miss carmoh calling me in the middle of work. She's leaving for Melb and i'm happy for her. She has done fuglies proud.
15) I'm glad CNY is over; I'll eat beef without feeling guilty, i can study in peace without clangs of cymbals and nian-scaring drum beats. It's not as if we have fifteen days of public holidays right. I've had my fair share of yu.sheng anyway.
16) I'm quite ashamed of my spoken mandarin; the french (ang moh!) family understand me better in chinese. I'm chinese but i grew up eating kan dang.
17) Face it. We are (I am) self centred. 93% of this post is about I Me Myself.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Life
Awhile before the festive season, i heard of deaths amongst relatives/friends of people i know. Keeping my fingers crossed, i welcomed the new year of the Ox with much happiness and hope, much looking forward to a year of flowers food rainbow and all things good. Still, i hear of people leaving the face of this earth, and hope they are resting peacefully in a mansion at the feet of god awaiting the arrival of their other loved ones, who has yet to walk their journey of life.
Why am i saying these seemingly negative statements in this lunar new year? Cause i want to be thankful for this life i've been given. For the people who have crossed my paths and taught me good/evil things. For the lessons i learnt the hard way. For the needy and less fortunate who have humbled me. For some who have had an impact on my life. *
I was drying my hair a moment ago when i saw my books lying on the desk. I know i'm studying, studying for a degree that i don't even know for what. Maybe it's for personal knowledge, maybe i'll switch lines in future, maybe i'll use it as a stepping stone in the pursuit of my passion; dentistry. Maybe i don't know. Maybe i won't make it through.
Till today, i'm accusing myself for taking the polytechnic route. And occasionally, i ask myself, why wasn't i born into a wholesome family, why didn't i have a silver spoon in my mouth all my life, why didn't i study hard enough to be in an elite junior college, why did i even opt for polytechnic education, why did i choose to break my bond at the expense of bonuses and lesser take home salary, why did i even sign the bond in the first place!
Well, after all is said and done, as the adage goes, 'don't cry over spilt milk'. So what's the next logical step to take? Try my best in school, be my best at work and be hopeful that a better future lies ahead.
Hell no, easier said than done.
Maybe i should resign to fate, resign to being a 'dental nurse' all my life, fix dinner, wash dishesand tuck the kids into bed. Maybe ladyboss was right, things change, and what we want changes as we go along. Maybe the other side of me is right; i go get whatever i want.
*For being able to always pull myself away from my own darkened thoughts and keep myself going.
Why am i saying these seemingly negative statements in this lunar new year? Cause i want to be thankful for this life i've been given. For the people who have crossed my paths and taught me good/evil things. For the lessons i learnt the hard way. For the needy and less fortunate who have humbled me. For some who have had an impact on my life. *
I was drying my hair a moment ago when i saw my books lying on the desk. I know i'm studying, studying for a degree that i don't even know for what. Maybe it's for personal knowledge, maybe i'll switch lines in future, maybe i'll use it as a stepping stone in the pursuit of my passion; dentistry. Maybe i don't know. Maybe i won't make it through.
Till today, i'm accusing myself for taking the polytechnic route. And occasionally, i ask myself, why wasn't i born into a wholesome family, why didn't i have a silver spoon in my mouth all my life, why didn't i study hard enough to be in an elite junior college, why did i even opt for polytechnic education, why did i choose to break my bond at the expense of bonuses and lesser take home salary, why did i even sign the bond in the first place!
Well, after all is said and done, as the adage goes, 'don't cry over spilt milk'. So what's the next logical step to take? Try my best in school, be my best at work and be hopeful that a better future lies ahead.
Hell no, easier said than done.
Maybe i should resign to fate, resign to being a 'dental nurse' all my life, fix dinner, wash dishes
*For being able to always pull myself away from my own darkened thoughts and keep myself going.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Batam
M and i decided to head for a short getaway in Batam during this long break of mine. Managed to do last minute hotel reservations online; thank god for mum's friend who managed to get us ferry tickets thou it was Sunday (and mind you, it's a public hol on mon&tues!) We left for Batam at Harbourfront terminal on Wed and came back on Fri evening. Cutting the long story short, here're 10 tips for Batam travel.
1) Indo is 1 hour behind Sg time.
2) Exchange rate is better at Indo. (R7400 vs R7140) If Indo$Changer states 73__, you can negotiate for a higher value, eg 7400.
3) If you're keen on shopping (than water sports), opt for accomodation closer to the city. Eg: Nagoya area.
4) Travelling from Harr!s/Hol!dayInn Resort costs Rupiah70k (S$10) one way. Harr!s has (paid) shuttle frm resort to NagoyaHillShoppingCentre at 2pm and 5.30pm (Indo time) return. Wise to opt for taxi/private car; same rate without timing restraints.
5) Nagoya Hill SC to Batam Centre Megamall(SC) negotiable at R25k (S$3.40).
For points 4 & 5, don't let me know that we were chopped. We tried our best not to.
6) Various spa/massage services behind NagoyaHillSC. Its rates, ambience (and services, probably) beat H.Spa hands down.
7) Street satay grilled over white hot charcoal smells darn good but tastes really shitty. Not for our palates.
8) Polo is not equal to PoloRaIphLauren. (Trust me on that.)
9) Plus point to be able to communicate in BahasaIndo (somewhat like BahasaMelayu).
10) Furniture/household stuff = so cheap! I bought a pretty waste bin for S$10, and M got a 12Litre stainless steel classic style kitchen bin for S$27! (Yes you heard me right, we bought dustbins, of all things)
11) Atap-chees are big juicy and very sweet.
Signing off from my blue sky holiday,
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