Wednesday, June 27, 2007

AEON Tebrau City Shopping Centre(Jusco)

When all your friends(so-called) are not too keen on a 3D2N getaway, the next best thing is to visit Singapore's fellow neighbour, Malaysia, before starting work on 2nd July. The trip was almost called off! However, we(J A and I) remained obstinate despite monetary issues.

We boarded bus service number 170 at Little India Station (a convenient 5mins train ride from my place!). A good 59mins ride (coupled with yawns and occasional roister) would take you to Woodlands Checkpoint. Tap EZ Link before alighting to go through Customs. Take an escalator down, resume trip by tapping card again. A washroom is located 2 meters from the bus pick up point. You'll pass Msia's customs before reaching Larkin Terminal.Cost: $1.48 via EZ Link.
While asking for directions at the terminal, J filmed the conversation and i told her to catch it on Channal 5 that night. We couldnt help but giggle at her ecstatic expression. (Hey lady, PUNKED!) Paid RM2.90 for a 30mins ride on service no. 277. It travelled back to somewhere near the causeway before heading for the expressway towards Jusco. Start looking out for the massive beige-brown building after passing Carrefour. Alight and cross the road by jumping over the barricade just like the locals do.

Ok lunch is over. to be continued.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Shrek 3

I must admit I've been missing out on Animations, what i previously termed Cartoons. Enlightened by Sexy J. A revelation that took a good 20years.

The Good
Good laughter entertainment if you've got a good syringe of intellect.

Shrek 3 offers fairy tale characters a differentiated personality. Ok maybe this should be placed under "The Bad" cause characters like Snow White and Rapunzel were portrayed in a negative light-demanding, unreasonable, impatient and manipulative characters, totally different from the virtuous, pure, sacrificial and long-suffering characters that kids(maybe only those from GenX, moi inclusive) know them to be in the original fairy tales.

The 1hr 33mins movie tickles my toes with funny lines like:

Artie: Help! I'm being kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!

Snow White: Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your golden hair extensions.

Oh my gawd. Have i mentioned how disgustingly innocent and adorable he looked after being shut out?
Puss in Boots: Some people just don't understand boundaries.

A less irritating line at last..
Donkey: [sees Shrek naked] Aahh! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!

This is somewhat like "You're pretty." "Pretty ugly"
Ship Captain: [menacingly] You're finished.
[Shrek, Puss in Boots, and Donkey turn and stare]
Ship Captain: [apologetically] Heh. With your journey!
[points to land]

Gingy pooping a pink candy!

And here's Pinocchio trying too hard.. A good try, none the less.
Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

When Shrek dreamt how disaterous it'd be to have lil imps, it clearly portrays the heaven turn hell after having kids.

The Bad
When Arthur feigned extreme sadness to fool the old and pitiful magician, he succeeded in getting his way, and was not apologetic to have used emotional manipulation. Message sent to kids: all right to manipulate others for personal benefit.

Visual images of beheadings when Prince Charming starts cutting of heads of annimals and mannequins on stage although it purely is "Drama Production". As much as I love grrrruesome gory scenes(N knows best)Im an advocate against violence.

Recent knowledge of science and genetics not applied. Think: Princess Fiona an ogre, her father (King Harold) a frog, her long lost cousin (Artie) human being. The only logical deduction: Ogre Fiona is heterozygous, having both characteristics of frog and man.
And here's how Shrek Junior and Fiona Junior look ogre: Assuming Fiona having the allele combination Pp, Shrek PP, crossing results in PP, PP, Pp, Pp. This is the result of 2 years of pure Biology lessons.

The movie has a 'good triumph evil' ending. It however, will not leave wholesome impressions on kids.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Nuptial Day

Sat-Wedding ceremony of Weiliang & Jas.

Being the entourage(jie mei) for Jas meant getting up at 5.10am, arriving at her place punctually at 6am. Being myself meant snoozing the alarm, sleeping in, waking up late (5.30am) and arriving at 6.30am, complaining bout the cab fare to Woodlands and regret bout not renting a car for the day. Suddenly, the fear of being left out struck me. I went alone, not alone per se, but didnt know the other 'jie meis'. It was comforting to know that there were 2 other 'loners'(J and P) and another pair of bubbly girls. P was the earliest at 6.20am, J, of MALE gender, arrived at 7.10am despite living in Woodlands, the pair arrived at 7.20am, all groomed and ready for the camera! It took me awhile to warm up before my ugly side(inelegant, indelicate) started peeling. For the video crew, i cheekily held the house keys, smirked and threw the keys behind me.

All ready in my casual white linen dress with my perm-look-alike hair pinned to the side! Add a complimentary wrist corsage for good measure. We failed horribly in an attempt to get Jack don a corsage.

Time check: 7.45am >>Horns of the decorated E200 Mercedes wedding car!! Ah po was so excited she reached for the bunched of keys. We had a hard time explaining what we were gonna do! We(jie meis) flustered as we werent prepared for "the bargaining game"! (The groom(with the help of his 'xiong di' has to pass a couple of tests before receiving the bride)
1) To inconsiderately sing a song from ground level so loud it'd wake the neighbours on a Sat morning. We failed them on account it wasnt peppy. The brothers started swaying to the rythm unreservedly. The photographer and videographer had such a good laugh that they urged us to pass them.

2) An ang bao that satisfys! "Although we are not hard selling our friend here. You know better what to do" The boys were agreeable and able to gather the various amounts in various denominations! *Applause!

3) To taste 4 different flavours, namely, suan tian ku la (sour, sweet, bitter, spicy respectively.) Thought by J, it signifys the feelings of a relationship.
Sour: White vinegar. We had a hysterical laugh at their expressions.
Sweet: Honey drink. Groom:This's nice. Us: Yeah, soothing for all that singing.
Bitter: Ice blended bitter gourd. Think bout rubbery faces and disgusted grimaces.
Spicy: Chilli padi spread on bread. We saw huge pieces of it on ground level when we were leaving for another place! How audacious!

4) To form on paper, "Will you marry me" using crimson red lip-sticked lips.
At this point, WL realised he left the wedding bands at home! Surprisingly, he didnt think of going back for it! In the end, a xiong di made the trip down.
More roistering before proceeding to the next test.

5) To answer questions. Forfeit: Apply whipped cream to certain part of brother's body, groom to suggestively lick it off.

a) Wife's measurements in format: Bust_ _, Waist_ _
WL: Waist 27
Us: HOR HOR!!! You're saying she's very fat when she's only 24!
WL: 32
Us: BIGGER LA!
WL: 33
Us: She isnt that flat la! Take your pick!
WL ended up drawing the NOSE.
XiongDi: Although I cant imagine having my nose licked or kissed, U're lucky I washed my face this morning.
It took WL much hesitation and courage to lick it off!

b) Favourite singer? This's a giveaway question for encouragement, larh.

c) i) Secondary school? *Bingo ii) Name of sec3 English teacher?
WL: *White flag raised.* I surrender. The cream is nice, anyway.
This time, it was a more subtle area-the elbow.

Up next, sixth game.
To find Cinderella's missing heel! They were so fast (it was in the microwave), we insisted it was Pui pui(Jas' fat female shitztzu called ger-ger) who fished it out.

The whooopees died off and Jas got suspicious. We had to lie that ah-po gave us an auspicious hour.

The day continued with tea cermonies, outdoor phototaking and lunch reception.
Their driver, a wellgroomed spikey hair kan-tang man drove like there was no tomorrow. On a main road, he sped 90km/h, weaved in and out of traffic as if we were running late.

Tea ceremony >> Pinggg Piannng! A vase and a cup shattered and everyone went Luo Di Kai Hua! to cancel out bad omen. Yes thats how superstitious the previous generation is.

Outdoor Phototaking >> Ants attack!
Once thought to be harmless and hardworking six legged insects, they invaded the gown's train, one went up through the can-can and kissed the bride's back! The bridesmaid, moi, got bitten on my forearm and calfs. Ouch!

The weather was favourable albeit a lil drizzle after the morning ceremonies; Breezy with a lil sun peeking through clear blue clouds for good measure.

Headed to Yishun for much needed 60min nap before preparing for the night. Aunty(cws' mum) still pampers me silly. She took care of my welfare and looked into every detail. She boiled me hot water for bath, set up the hair dryer, changed the sheets, wanted to get me milk and iron my clothes, etc. Uncle, oblivious of our break up, remarked with a wide smile-"You'll be the 3rd to call me Father." I politely smiled.

Venue: Bukit Batok Civil Service Club. Crystal Ballroom, Level 4.
The stage isnt the usual curtain backdrop but had alternating 'frames' of lights. It gave a catwalk feel. 'Trees' along the aisle had crystals and candles hanging on the branches which gave the atmosphere a romantic boost. The VIP chairs were fashionably laced. Oriental silk-like fabric napkins fanned proudly on the well arranged table ware. Oh i forgot to mention the advantage of 4 projector screens-guests need not turn heads while feasting! The technician was a young noob. The manager cum coordinator - a really attentive and courteous chap!

Donned in my alizarin red dressy shoulders baring top, shorts (as usual) and towering high wedges, I was confident of dolling myself up but Jas thought it'd good to hand the task to the decade experienced make up artist, Irene. It wasnt 70SGD well spent! She used my M.A.C. StudioFix as i refused her liquid foundation! I dont want to appear on stage with an inch of cakey make up! She applied liquid eye liner, mascara and ever-so-roughly sweeped pink shimmery eye colour on to my lids! It was followed by pink lippy and a dash of blusher. Easy peasy for 70$! As for my already moussed naturally curly tresses, Irene straightened and back-combed my fringe, pinned up the crown and generously set it with hairspray. Ok, so where's the make up base (Eg:moisturizer. thankfully i applied it on the way there), more intricate eye make up, a delicate touch and the oh-so-needed smiles! Ah at least now i know how i'd look with liquid eyeliner-gorgeous.

There was tension with cws, my partner emcee (ex bf, just so you know and for paparazzi sake), during his last minute briefing bout changes in schedule. That aside.
Ahh how i love birks. I wouldnt go through a day without them! It was so tiring trotting in wedges the entire morning that i resorted to slipping on to my new dark blue madrids off stage!

Night event: Photo montage, march in, cake cutting, short clip of the morning's events, a surprise from WL to Jas during the 2nd march in, champagne pouring, thankyou speech and toasting!

Photo montage showed individual shots of their childhood. It is a good illustration of how caterpillars morph into butterflies. Cws cracked in the presense of 400 guests "Thats my ah beng sibling". Giggles filled the place while WL raised his brows in surprise and flushed.

March in. In a pre-ceremonial announcement, the guests were educated bout the use of rose petals on their tables. The outcome was amazingly beautiful when everyone threw out handfuls of petals as they march in.

Cake cutting >> 98.8% (Calculations based on the attention of 3 VIP tables) were chompinging away. For camera's sake, cws had to buy time and went "ahhh so romantic (in chinese)".

Video >> The crew did a very good summary! It was so farcical i almost lost my balance laughing! Yet, there was a huge dose of ramantic-cism that brought back memories of the good o days. The crew deserve a more than a pat on their backs and an applause for putting together dumb antics and facial expressions combined with background music.

2nd march in >> WL sang "Ni Shi Wo Zui Shen Ai De Nu Ren" as he promenaded down the aisle to receive his wife from the other end of the room. It was accompanied with the strums of a Takamini played by cws. A super impromtu (6.40pm when i suggested to WL in the car) surprise executed splendidly!

Champagne pouring >> Pop!

Thankyou speech >> Sent 1 of WL's aunt tearing. Aunty: Why didnt Jas say anything? Me: Oh she's just there as an accessory, an embellishment.

Toasting >> After the usual 3 Yarrrrrmm Sengs, Jas's uncle gave the 4th, alone. Taken aback, CWS: Wow. That was a good performance and surprise!

We coordinated well that night and many commented on our sense of professionalism amalgamated with quip. However witty you think i am, i loose hands-down to cws!

Although i had to work on Sunday, cws, wx(his sister) and t(sister's bf) went for Part 2 at IndoChine. I directed cws as he drove. Thanks to dad's constant castigation, I became his live road map. We had a good overdue bonding session before heading home at 2.15am.


Have you ever caught yourself in a situation which you know that whatever's ahead is tough, yet, you willingly, and knowingly, plant yourself in that situation? Thats marriage and in subgroup of the marriage category:having kids. Secondly, my damnit sponsorship with HPB. I've not had enough slack, yet im back at no-pay attachments. I've not had enough slack yet my release to the real world is counting.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Random

A valedictory dinner was held at BanLeongSeafoodRestaurent last night, for the Chan brothers who are enlisting today. Apart from yummy food, sweet C and N boy, beefy D was the 4th reason i was there. :D imsoforcedtosaythis: Hunky J: the 5th.

I was duped by CWK when she called the clinic, impersonated SM (IDontKnowWhatTheHeckItStandsFor) W.J., cooked up a scenario (Eg:The teachers saw two of you walking around the school), interrogated me,.. Her bombing session forced 'democratically' correct answers outta me. Alright, i was taken in. How silly.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Stirred

Because these times are contagious. And i am flawed. With the hours passing by, you long to find your sanity. Is there a cure among us, in this multifarious society. Ameliorate my pain, tell me, tell me this episode is nothing more than a canard.