She Bites!

I'm generally a really nice person, but i admit i have a hint of a fighter cock spirit in me.
Boils down to my upbringing, from going to places on my own as a lil girl to standing up for someone else who was molested in the train.

Anyway,
my sis and i were at a fast food joint this evening, settled our barang barang and headed for the counter to place our orders. All the time, i was looking out for my bag when i saw a man (who was with a s. u. s. fc. woman) place a tray of used paper plate, bones, sauces and all other disgusting used things on 'our' table.
I was furious; Took the drink from the counter and headed back.
To my horrid dismay, the tray had a rough landing and spilled all its liquid contents onto the table and chair.
At first, i was relieved our belongings were spared.
Then i thought to myself, the reason for coming back was to confront them for placing a tray on what seemed like an occupied table.

I mean,
when a bag is placed, any human in a right state of mind can infer that the seat is occupied. Even the helpers at a hawker centre knows small items like tissue and umbrella indicated that the table is chopped. That m.f. happily placed the tray on our table. So they need a clean table and others don't? What logic, you tell me. No wonder the man is a lil over sized. And to make matters (of being fat) worst, he was clad in an evenly horizontally stripped polo tee that hugged his blabber all over.

The only chance i had was to tell her, 'i think it's not right of you to place a tray on this table, cause it is obvious this seat is occupied.'

She went, 'i'm getting the man to clean up the mess (of spilled coke)'. (Read: her dysfunctional cognitive ability)

I don't know why but i cooled down and said 'thank you' to the poor fellow who had to clear the mess. And this juncture, my sis came back with our dinner.

And when they were done with 'unloading' their dinner onto the table, they placed an empty tray on the same seat; right in front of my sister. I didn't know until moments later; it was too late and inappropriate to confront them again. I rested my case.

Throughout the dinner, i was telling Ellice what i was angry about and how brainlessly inconsiderate these people are. I'm not biased but i think they are Filipinos.
Maybe i should forgive her, she just might be a domestic worker out with her lover. Or a dentist who can't make enough money back home and venturing out in this sunny island as a dental assistant. Who knows. Maybe they should ground themselves to LuckyPIaza.
To hell with these idiots.

Looking back, i wished someoneelse was with us. I think she/he'd really stand up for us and give them a piece of our mind.
These people need a good tongue lash and many disgusted stares from members of the public before they learn.
They're bullying two lil girls. Hmpf!

Now i feel a lil better. :)

p.s.: I was watching ConfessionsOfAShopaholic and was thinking bout bracelets, teddies and flowers the whole time. Haha! How ironic!

Mar.riage

I'm so tired (and getting hungry too) yet i refuse to shut down my lap top and retire for the day. Don't know why. I wish the chilly night would never, ever, end. I don't like going to work anymore. I'm so discouraged at my lack of knowledge and abilities, sometimes i wish i'd just die. d.i.e. Okay maybe not so serious, lah. Sometimes i wish i sat in an office from 9-5 and do the same thing over and over and over again.
My sister just finished (another) episode of night time grinding. And i'm wondering if i'll grind or talk in my sleep again. The last i was told, i said, 'hannah hannah, do already lah.'
No it's not funny. I think i'm like a time bomb. I can keep going and going and going, until..

I need a good break. So what constitutes 'a good break'? A blue sky holiday? I doubt. After all enjoyment, the harsh reality of life makes me fall deeper into this black black hole. Holidays are deceiving. They make you taste the good of life, then when reality strikes, you're hit even harder.

So.. if i go back and read the above paragraph, where i had just started penning down my thoughts, the answer is simple. Go get the education i need.

I'll talk to you bout the weddings i attended last weekend okay? My neck and shoulders are aching and i think i really need a good nights' rest.

Missing my happy pill.

Continued.
Thought i should give this post its due glory.

Hope the married couples stay in loveful bliss and health, always.

I cannot bring myself to go on bout this wedding issue anymore. Another time, perhaps.
I'm so distracted with other thoughts, find out why in the next post!

Junk

Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org.

My lap top slipped off the car seat during a sudden break on CTE. Then i realised. I'm very afraid of loosing memories of my life captured in pixels and my library of songs. Not much, 11GB of photos and 19GB of songs. "So many photos meh?" Beats me; that's what the program says.

Being the karang-guni i really am, i've decided to manually back up all my photographs, and delete some. I came across photos of some of you who i have/had bad vibes. Initially, i was contemplating to whether to trash it or not. Then i thought, 'hey, the only use i'll have of these is for your orb!..'. And i don't like to be mean. So i deleted them.
Then again, who am i to say whether i friend or don't friend you?
So don't get too personal. It's just me.

Then compiling backups for songs.

Clearing out the closet; for real this time. Cause i'll probably never ever return to them ever again. I was petite.

Maybe all i need is an external hard-disk.

Misses

Hello everybody. It's Friday the 13th. And it's raining.

I've been thinking bout a few of you, really. I've been longing for the longest time to catch up with you folks over a cup of cheap kopi. Or just while the day away drifting in and out of bed, catching outdated movies on rented dvd, etc.

I can't wait for the upcoming week to pass. Then I'll have a lil breathing space. And it'll be exam preparations.
One year of studies would pass me by.
2 more to go.

The only event i'm looking forward to is the trip to Sipadan (Malaysia only la) in end of June. It's a lil incentive for hanging on for the past 6 months, and when i return, it's back to school which should be starting in July.
Then the worry of working on night sessions clashing into night class would start all over again. 4 more cycles.
Just how long more can i go on for.
We'll see.

Now i'm feeling apologetic for all i have written. It should have been bout how much i miss the good o' days with you guys, laughing, taking photos, ogling at boys and talking funny things.
There's gotta be somewhere else for me to nag bout life.

My dream job is to be a paramedic. I want to help people. I like the challenge of making a difference, when every second is crucial to a person's life. I like the feeling of making swift accurate decisions. But I'm not heading that way; it's too far fetched. Maybe i'll be a tooth-fairy-without-borders. Maybe i'll pursue my innermost dreams when i no longer have to worry bout being able to feed myself.
Maybe i'll just leave the face of this earth before i even get anywhere.

Maybe it's here where i nag, everyone listens and nobody answers.

Simple Pleasures

MY AI REN JUST CALLED FROM BRUNEI AND I'M SO F.KING HAPPY!

Love is.. when you want the best for someone else, even at the expense of yourself.

-

Dear friends,
i've been tearing alot of late. Worrying about school and monetary issues. Vitamin M aside. I hate reports and group projects. I can coop myself up in a room with lecture notes, study guides and tutorial questions, go for a test and i'd do just fine.
I can't really take stress, and i find crying therapeutic.
All episodes, my best friend has been there for me.
He knows that i need no answers nor advices, a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on would do me just fine.
And i'm thankful for that.
He wipes my tears, tickles me and tells me too many funny things.
Doesn't show one bit of displeasure when he was sending me to school, i refused to attend class (cause i was really down) and decided to grab a cuppa oldtownwhitekopi before heading back home.
Laughs at me when i accidentally sat on a tomato that was strategically placed (i always sit there and kiao kar!) on the table top.
And so much more that he's done for me.
I couldn't thank god enough.

I saw a partial rainbow. The day i skipped school.

Anyways, i'm getting 'obsessed' with attending dental talks now. I feel there's so so so so so much to listen, learn and eventually, impart.
Can you believe it? I was sad and wallowed in self pity the entire day cause i was 'rejected' for a tooth whitening update lecture.
I wish i started this obsession a long long time ago.
I'll be attending some |\|DC courses alone; hope i make some friends.

Another Memoir

"Good night Ruth, ... I miss how we used to talk about anything under the sky. I don't like how we've changed and nothing's constant. Given a chance, i'll do anything to keep our friendship flame alive. I love you, my friend. I hope you'll try to be happy with whatever you're doing now. I keep up with your blog entries and i think sometimes life is harsh. But we have to prevent ourselves from sinking into depression. Our goals might seem far and bleak. But have faith that you WILL reach there eventually. ... I've always think you're a mentally tough girl. You've shown me how you triumphed tough times again and again. This, i admire you. For i can never be you. Hang in there, my best friend."

I miss you too, my friend. Our friendship flame will always be alive. I can't imagine a time when we'd bicker and cat fight cause we're always on consensus and watching each others' back. Thanks for that short and sweet catch up at Kovan. Tired you and i were from work, but you came down (waited for me-again). I'm quite happy working at where i am now, at least each time i look back, i see progress, be it clinically, educationally or relationshipally. But well o well, vitamin M is just not enough, considering that i took the leap of faith (or was it stupidity) and broke my bond. Graduation from school really is far and bleak. I don't even know if i can go on for 4 more semesters of night class, tests, reports and exams. But then again, i look back at how much i've paid (i know i'm studying for wrong reasons, haha!), grit my teeth cross my fingers and hope for the best. No one sees me when i'm at my wits end, tearing in fear of this and that. Thank you for sending this sms. I've kept it in my phone, and now here. I'll whip this out during my difficult times and be comforted that you're there and still cares. I hope everything good and sweet happens to you, your family and your boyfriend. You can do whatever you aspire to. It's all in the mind.
As for me, all i have is my family (sis essentially), my man and a handful of friends.

Can't Sleep

Good Morning Starshine.
My weekends are finally here, and you greet me with silence.

It's not that i choose to while the night away doing literally nothing. I wish i can fall asleep; i can and i would if i had work the next day. Part of me hope tomorrow never comes; i've been worrying about a forex-report that i've yet to lay my hands on. It's a group work but none of us have given positive inputs, including myself. Not to mention 4 upcoming tests. I like to put stress on myself. It lets me know that i've got something to do, and when test is over, i'd feel double joy. Self deception? Yes.
I can't wait for March to end; it'll be the end of mini scale tests and reports submission, and the start of exam preparations. Get this school term over and done with, up my clinical sessions during the mid year peak and take a short break in end June.

YAY! SunnyCove is organising a trip to SIPADAN on 26th to 30th June! I. Can't. Wait!

Work today has, o well, been good. 2 patients asked about my role as an OHT and were impressed at the changing level of care, while it has became our standard of care and are finding ways to further improve.
The oral region is so complicated, not to mention the human body. I've still got a million ton to read and read. I need more knowledge on trauma in children, and a whole lot more on current practices in periodontology. I wish i was still a dental student; we were entitled to ask stupid questions.

I've been trying to cut down on carbohydrates and meat, been a great success thus far. My body now craves for fruits vegetables and home cooked food. It's strange. I've always been a carnivorous. I don't want to be a walking bamboo; i just want a leaner overall. Don't talk bout exercise. I know that's the way to go but i've really got no motivation to start running anymore. I'm so drained after work, and on my off days i just want to vegetate, sip coffee, fix myself lunch/dinner and study abit.

This weekend, i hope to get a (read: ONE) dress for two wedding occasions on 21st and 22nd of March. Any sponsors?

The haze is contributing to my insomnia. I'm coughing away but refuse to switch on the air conditioner, until i feel asthmatic. It's so costly!
I can get angry when i sleep with my mei. She takes away the flatter pillow and bolster, spreads her limbs so far and wide i feel i might just fall off the 2.6k bed i bought with my hard earned money.
In these times of changing human sleep patterns, i demand 2 queen sized beds joined together in my matrimonial flat. I need my space!

Almost 3am and i'm starting to feel tired, finally. I hear the shutters from the market right below my humble abode. They are doing washing and preparing my brunch. Soon it'll be (late) morning.
Good Morning Sunshine.

None of anyone's business

To: Friends of my bro's childhood, and thereby my acquaintances.

I am not comfortable having you (all) in my home. You stare at me when i walk around with freshly baked bah kua, clad in my torn and tattered npcc t shirt and boxer shorts. Nevermind that. I pee in fear that you might break through the doors. Nevermind that. Sometimes, you watch videos, play games and laugh out loud when i'm trying to study. Nevermind that. You are not in school nor in the workforce; it's none of my business but please don't drag my dear brother into this. We're not well to do and have our mouths to feed. If you'd just go away and leave him bored, he might find a job.
All of you should start doing something constructive.
I'm so disgusted. With you. (all).

Enneagram

Hi aww! Just read your blog and did the test on http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php!

I'm an..
Enneagram Type 3 - The Achiever (wing 2)

Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation

People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard working, competetive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the "sexiest" woman in their social circle. They are often "self-made" and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need. Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and sometimes charismatic. They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But, while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming "losers."

Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.

Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require external validation, Threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive" mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies.

Threes can sometimes mistype themselves when they mistake the more superficial features of their personalities as indicators of their type. So, for instance, an intellectual Three might mistype as a Five; a Three who is devoted to her role as mother might think she is a Two; a Three in a leadership position might mistype as an Eight and so on. Regardless of the manifestation however, the core of the type Three fixation is the deep need for external validation.

16 Things About Me Now

1) I've been shedding alot of hair since i straightened them. I hope my hair stops growing so it'll always be straight. Nevermind the length, my ex clinical partner has proven that hair extensions do magic, and they dont come off easily.
2) I prefer reading macro to microeconomics cause the prescribed text follows lecture notes more closely.
3) It's tough to start the study engine going cause there're just too many distractions at home. These distractions have a common characteristic; they are boxes with lots of colours eg: handphone, computer, television. Not to mention my brother who came in to have a chat with me.
4) I don't know if/when i'm getting married. Cause i'm not financially stable, much less attained financial freedom. So please stop asking me.
5) My sister is in sec 4, taking her O levels this year. How time flies.
6) I've been itching for a dental mission trip, or help some old/young folks who are much less fortunate than i am.
7) I don't know why but i like to be involved in many things at one time. No wonder i'm always complaining of a lack of personal 'me' time.
8) I want to be involved in setting up the SgDentalHygieneAssociation/SgOralHealthTherapistAssociation but am afraid to step out and get down to it. Actually, i'm lost as to who to approach in the dental fraternity. After the .gov bizzare in school days, i don't think writing straight to the registry of societies is the right thing to do.
9) I wish everyone could stop plugging in amalgams cause they are so yester-century.
10) I need a compliment every now and then, ideally one a week; they keep me going and let me know that i'm on the right track and can do even better.
11) I'm not going to Bali(with M) anymore cause i've heard of too many bfgf-go-bali-and-eventually-breakup stories.
12) I need more cash. School fees are so high. I haven't gotten a nice blouse since so-long-ago.
13) I've not had a home cooked meal since reunion dinner night.
14) I will miss carmoh calling me in the middle of work. She's leaving for Melb and i'm happy for her. She has done fuglies proud.
15) I'm glad CNY is over; I'll eat beef without feeling guilty, i can study in peace without clangs of cymbals and nian-scaring drum beats. It's not as if we have fifteen days of public holidays right. I've had my fair share of yu.sheng anyway.
16) I'm quite ashamed of my spoken mandarin; the french (ang moh!) family understand me better in chinese. I'm chinese but i grew up eating kan dang.
17) Face it. We are (I am) self centred. 93% of this post is about I Me Myself.

Life

Awhile before the festive season, i heard of deaths amongst relatives/friends of people i know. Keeping my fingers crossed, i welcomed the new year of the Ox with much happiness and hope, much looking forward to a year of flowers food rainbow and all things good. Still, i hear of people leaving the face of this earth, and hope they are resting peacefully in a mansion at the feet of god awaiting the arrival of their other loved ones, who has yet to walk their journey of life.

Why am i saying these seemingly negative statements in this lunar new year? Cause i want to be thankful for this life i've been given. For the people who have crossed my paths and taught me good/evil things. For the lessons i learnt the hard way. For the needy and less fortunate who have humbled me. For some who have had an impact on my life. *

I was drying my hair a moment ago when i saw my books lying on the desk. I know i'm studying, studying for a degree that i don't even know for what. Maybe it's for personal knowledge, maybe i'll switch lines in future, maybe i'll use it as a stepping stone in the pursuit of my passion; dentistry. Maybe i don't know. Maybe i won't make it through.

Till today, i'm accusing myself for taking the polytechnic route. And occasionally, i ask myself, why wasn't i born into a wholesome family, why didn't i have a silver spoon in my mouth all my life, why didn't i study hard enough to be in an elite junior college, why did i even opt for polytechnic education, why did i choose to break my bond at the expense of bonuses and lesser take home salary, why did i even sign the bond in the first place!
Well, after all is said and done, as the adage goes, 'don't cry over spilt milk'. So what's the next logical step to take? Try my best in school, be my best at work and be hopeful that a better future lies ahead.
Hell no, easier said than done.

Maybe i should resign to fate, resign to being a 'dental nurse' all my life, fix dinner, wash dishes and tuck the kids into bed. Maybe ladyboss was right, things change, and what we want changes as we go along. Maybe the other side of me is right; i go get whatever i want.

*For being able to always pull myself away from my own darkened thoughts and keep myself going.

Batam

M and i decided to head for a short getaway in Batam during this long break of mine. Managed to do last minute hotel reservations online; thank god for mum's friend who managed to get us ferry tickets thou it was Sunday (and mind you, it's a public hol on mon&tues!) We left for Batam at Harbourfront terminal on Wed and came back on Fri evening. Cutting the long story short, here're 10 tips for Batam travel.

1) Indo is 1 hour behind Sg time.
2) Exchange rate is better at Indo. (R7400 vs R7140) If Indo$Changer states 73__, you can negotiate for a higher value, eg 7400.
3) If you're keen on shopping (than water sports), opt for accomodation closer to the city. Eg: Nagoya area.
4) Travelling from Harr!s/Hol!dayInn Resort costs Rupiah70k (S$10) one way. Harr!s has (paid) shuttle frm resort to NagoyaHillShoppingCentre at 2pm and 5.30pm (Indo time) return. Wise to opt for taxi/private car; same rate without timing restraints.
5) Nagoya Hill SC to Batam Centre Megamall(SC) negotiable at R25k (S$3.40).
For points 4 & 5, don't let me know that we were chopped. We tried our best not to.
6) Various spa/massage services behind NagoyaHillSC. Its rates, ambience (and services, probably) beat H.Spa hands down.
7) Street satay grilled over white hot charcoal smells darn good but tastes really shitty. Not for our palates.
8) Polo is not equal to PoloRaIphLauren. (Trust me on that.)
9) Plus point to be able to communicate in BahasaIndo (somewhat like BahasaMelayu).
10) Furniture/household stuff = so cheap! I bought a pretty waste bin for S$10, and M got a 12Litre stainless steel classic style kitchen bin for S$27! (Yes you heard me right, we bought dustbins, of all things)
11) Atap-chees are big juicy and very sweet.


Signing off from my blue sky holiday,

Happy Niu Year

Hello folks. First things first, happy lunar new year!

With each passing year, new year and other festivities becomes routine and a good time to catch up on rest and while the day away eating bah kua and other ny goodies. My long break started last friday, stretching all the way till 31st Jan; taking only a day of leave. It was the usual spring cleaning and reunion dinner at home. Thanks to lil sis who strongly protested against steamboat for dinner, mum whipped up yummy dishes!
Last year's chu xi, the big family (of friends) and i welcomed the year of the rat with a big bang; everyone lighted up fire crackers and there was a mini display of fireworks at a friend's dad's bungalow in JB after our family's reunion dinner.
I gave that load of fun a miss this year. Instead, mum sis darling and i headed to Chinatown. Its my first time there, the weather was good with a lil drizzle, cool breeze and tons of people squeezing and pushing their way around. We parked ourselves some good distance away from the temp stage setup along eutongsen street and waited in the sticky crowd. Then everyone counted in unison; 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2..1..Happy New Year. Those few minutes of fireworks display and fire crackers made the wait worthwhile.
Passed a lion dance display outside a temple. I love lion dances; everyone does! The lion was 'spitting' oranges with 4 numbers written on it. The first one M 'horpped' was hit away by a fking china man, who then scurried to the ground in search of the mandarin. "What's yours will be yours" The subsequent one that came his way was a clean catch.
Bought 4D the very next morning; just for fun larh.
The next night was gambling with thebigfamily. Heart wrenching that M lost a fair bit!

Visited paternal grandpa and maternal grandma; some other uncle and aunties were there too.
That's lunar new year for me. Food, gambling and more food such that i might have forgotten my roots.
For those whose January didn't track out well, lunar new year gives us a good reason to start everything over again.

To end this abruptly, i'll be at Batam over the next two days; a short getaway for some sand sea sun shopping spa and at the same time, celebrate our first valentine's day together.
Till then, drink lots of water, eat 2 servings of veg, fruits, pineapple tarts, cookies and bah kua everyday, live in peace, stay in health, save money, upgrade your skills and wait for my return!

Love all of you.

EGLY, give me the bolster tonight cannn.
TTHX, get well really soon.
CCYY, sorry for not meeting you up before you left. I feel very very bad but i needed to be at home lah! Muack.
KCW, hope you didnt get any skinnier eating yucky rice papers in vietnam.
CNHP, CHCY & LSYL, see ya on 7th Feb; you girls make the most boring lectures fun!
KM, S & R, i miss all of you alot.
PSS buddies, see ya for our mini reunion dinner when i'm back.
Cookie, meet up with you really soon ok.
YPL, though i doubt you'll ever drop by this journal, thanks for your well wishes.
And to all of you, thanks for being in my life!
Last but not least, EB, love you lots.

Spring Cleaning

Some things I threw out during spring cleaning:
1) Huge glass jar of dried flowers from bouquets WS gave.
2) Barely used brown bag
3) Handbag WS gave.
4) Cards from people who don't matter anymore.
5) Workbooks from church's class.
6) All things for curly hair.

Things I've been contemplating to throw:
1) 'Nurse' uniform
2) That Blue Thing
3) Novels
4) Bibles
5) Figurines
6) Notes from tertiary education
7) Skipping ropes
8) Cards from WS

And, guess what?!
My first (and previous) holiday to an ang moh country was in 2004. (Not that i'm complaining, but Carmoh and Kel are BOTH away for HOLIDAY!)
Tracy Tan has been giving me cards since i was 16.
Carrie has been sending Christmas cards since 2004.
WS had a card for every festive season and wrote messages via postcards.
Marcus gave cards which wrote the most creative messages that'd melt every girl's heart.
A Genting trip's group photo inked on a metal card hasnt faded; since 2005 (i think).
I was so skinny (arms and face) in tertiary days! The photos proved it all.
I'm a huge vain pot when i was a lil girl.
My first plush toy was called No-name, i picked her from SIA.
I tried OralB'sBrushUp; not bad at all!
Mum washed my bed sheets and cleaned both of my room's windows.
I've not used the whitening gel cause i'm too afraid to fit on my retainers; now that my teeth have shifted, its gonna be so painful!
I found plastic teeth set on stone and threw them without thought. good bye g.v.black!

Finally cleared out some junk!
whilst mum is rummaging through my junk (like a karang guni!) and approved of everything i threw. lol.

10 Things M Does

1) Does the laundry while i snooze, folds crispy sun dried clothes while i laze under the ceiling fan.
2) Cooks dinner while i go for a short work out.
3) Sends me to work even after we agree on a central drop off point.
4) Wakes me up by tickling my feet.
5) Dentifrices my toothbrush.
6) Pats me to sleep after a nightmare.
7) Holds my hand in the middle of the night to drink water in the kitchen that's 5 steps away.
8) Brings out the trash.
9) Shells giant prawns for me at a BBQ without complaining bout fishy smelling fingers.
10) Sweeps the floor almost everyday; his loosing battle against my fallen hair.

Closing 2008

I've been procrastinating on an entry for the closure of 2008 until a conversation at work with my boss left me quite embarrassed.
Me: OPG taken recently, *stares hard at treatment chart*, June this year
Boss: Last year.
Me: *really insistent and solemn* This year.
Boss: Last year.
Me: *look again really closely.* Oh ya you're right. Last year.
So maybe it's time to put a close to the rat race year.

Looking back, there were alot of changes this year.
I met new faces, drifted from some friends, tried new things, changed boyfriends, went on to the private sector, started schooling, etc, too many to list and go into its details. So lets review the NOW.

I love my sister, alot. And i think my mother too. A few nights ago, i dreamt of her in bright white light, telling me she's fatigued and wants to rest, that i should take care of my sis and the house. I asked her to hang on in there. I woke up in sweat and teared.

Trayc too. I miss the good 'o times we have dinner after work, talk till late night and her stay overs. I like being a sloth. I hope it's all good on your side. From sec 4 till now, same o words; only a phone call away, love.
Of cause we can still have such times but i get so drained after work, all i long for is a good bath, dinner and couch potatoe the night away. On my off days, i sleep till cows go home, have some personal time, do some reading/housework and the cycle continues.

The trio at Sunnycove. There's so much to talk about when we meet. And i look forward to meeting them. There's alot of mental relief and laughter. We talk bout work too. It's fun, like growing up together.

Needless to say, M. He's got his practical side, yet spoils me silly. And i appreciate that he pampers me and never want to take that for granted. We're still logging our everyday lives with each other. And started raising funds for trips together. $1 fine for every vulgarity blurted.

Finished 1 (out of 6) semesters at school. Boy, the modules this year (see, now i'm getting the years right) are really tough.

Health hasn't been tiptop condition. Episodes of allergic rhinitis are really irritating me i might consider going for functional endoscopic sinus surgery. But still thankful for functioning organs, ligaments and muscles. LASIK went well too, still working without glasses/lenses. Yippee!

Work's good; 6 months since i joined 'em and i think they're happy ok with my performance. I think i can do even better with more education and exposure. I've been sitting on writing my biography for the website; cause there's really nothing to my name! Oh good lord save me.
6 more months of bond to pay for and i'm a free bird! July! July go Bali ok SunnyCove!

Bought 2 new furniture for my room; a sealy (read: silly) bed and a princessy chair & study table, all fully paid for out of my own pocket. I love my bed; its really comfy!

And everything else i have in my life to thank god for. There's never enough, there're always bigger dreams and material wants, but looking around me, i'm glad to have what i have. They call that contentment.

I've decided to straighten my hair! I'm so so so scared, really. I've not seen myself in straight hair since i was 17years old! Then it'll be back to keeping out my curly wurlies all over again. Life's like that.

Christmas

for god so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son.

To many of us, christmas is a time for giving, gathering and merry making.

Thank you rga, for the lippie and card. Hope you had heaps of fun with the Chinese!

Gatherings with thebigfamily are always enjoyable. No one would be seen sitting alone in a corner or blending into the wall paper. They are a bunch of generally happy crappy people who saw me since my secondary school frizzy hair days. The good mix of jokes food camwhoring and gift exchange aside, many of us are now attached.


a year ago..

EB and i invited some friends over to his humble abode for christmas dinner. Sis and bestie were on my top invite list, and am glad they were able to make it. We like hosting people, much more so to dear ones, and were glad our guests had their fill though there were no left overs. The pick of the night had to be wanton made with darling's chapalang secret recipe. Thank you tracy&kelvin, for the log cake that added much glitz to an otherwise simple fare. Thank you edmund, for the wine and chocolates companied with the christmas spirit. Thank you ian&joline, for bringing much bounce, joy and laughter to the night. Thank you ellice, for buying more udon at the very last minute and feeding me with yummy cookies stashed away in a corner. Above all, thank you darling, for doing the marketing with me and helping out in the kitchen. What would this season be without your love and you.

This christmas is nothing spectacular to boast about, short of presents to open, but very memorable for it was spent with people i love. Thank god for those who love me, who bring colours to my life, who welcome me home no matter how far i run, who is always waiting for me to return Home.

I was asked if i'm materialistic.
Not that im pushing the blame by pointing the finger, but I believe everyone is materialistic by nature, and the media (and fashion mags) further emphasize their significance/insignificance, whichever way you see it. And yes, there're many material wants that i have been dreaming of for the longest time, stashing them to the back of my head. The main goal is fees loans bills and long term, and satisfying a material want only brings about short term happiness.

I'm happy for cws, he's got a gf! I'd only hope the best for them. I'm still friends with his sis and sis in law, but have held back from visiting his parents. I guess it's not too appropriate? Don't know why.

Not that it's any business of mine, but someoNe broke up with a sweet looking girl. How bout another party, underthesea?

It's back to work on sun mon tues wed and another super long weekend! Yipee!!

Somemore Rubbish

Here’re some reasons why every woman should watch competitive games with their man.
1) You see their truly vulgar self.
2) Great time for a beer and BBQ-ed chicken wings. Of cause I went for healthier choice, loaded with antioxidants green tea. Heh, if we’re not getting skinnier, let’s make them all fat! Ya?
3) A great way to negate calories! I got all excited, plunged into the sofa, twist and turned at near goals and am getting hunger pangs now.
4) It’s the only time you can shoot off a string of vulgarities without being faulted.

Tip of the day: Never make an attempt to lie on the man’s lap during the game. I swear my ear drums almost gave way when he got all excited over a near goal.
Never. Even. Go near.

In my utterly amateur eye on soccer, I think the Lions played well!
But..
All the huff and puff, we lost 1-0 to PhongPhong!
FUCK!
By the way huh, they very the kay siao lor..

Next year. Next year we’ll be down at the National Stadium rooting for The Lions!
Ya larh, they will get into the next AFF semi finals one larh.

We were having our nightly bedtime talks and discussed if we hated our ex gf/bfs. There seem to be a similarity; in the end, the one whom we really loved but didnt work out in the end, are never hated, and would be willing to lend a helping hand if they are in need. On the flip side, we wouldnt care bout the ones who gave us short term 'happiness' and in fact is happy that we have moved on to better things.
I have this tendency to curse fellows. But have learnt to withdraw for i fear karma.

I've been sick for the past 3 weeks, periodic. First it was diarrhoea and fever, then came running nose body aches and fever, now it's blocked nose body aches sore throat phlegm and fever. I wake up on most days wanting to go on medical leave, but hesitated and dragged my sickly body to work. Be taking some time off from work to visit the doctor. And she had better not waste my monies have me cured by Christmas eve. I want to enjoy my public hols!
The bug has taken quality away from my life; goddamnshit.
Now my plan to donate blood to celebrate christmas is ruined. goddamnshit.

A far away friend just got engaged, happy for her! It felt so recent our common friend was telling me how stringent her quality control is, blahblahblah, and now planning for marriage! Isnt it strange amazing how things change so drastically quickly, how our lives are shaped by the people we work eat live play work with.

I was looking at the marine life of lembeh straits/manado (at work and got caught red handed!!) and i realise how vast the ocean is to uncover! Cant wait for the dive trip to bali in July! Shopping trips to angmoh countries are good, but I think i'll be contented to go on a SEAsia dive trip yearly! I WANT TO TAKE IN NITROGEN!!!!!

Some Rubbish

Good news, 2009 Thurs work day ends at 5pm, which means i can go to school on all days! Yayy! Gonna miss alot of lessons in Jan by foreign lecturers but its ok. Contented to be able to attend class! Yayy!

School books for this semester cost almost $200. Not too ex, taking into account 2 rather useless dentaI books that cost bout $200+! Gotta start hunting for 2nd hands!
Looking for 1) Principals of Macroeconomics by Stonecash, Gans, King & Mankiw 4th Ed, 2) Microeconomics by J Jackson & Mclver 8th Ed and 3) Financial Institutions & Markets by Ben Hunt & Chris Terry 5th Ed.
Selling 1) Singapore Business Law by Benny 4th Ed with notes and past year papers.

On 8th, a public holiday, i had my fringe straightened at a neighbourhood salon. $30 saved me alot of trouble blowing my frizzies and many failed attempts at looking neat. Insist on them using Shished0, i think it's good.

Returned to my Sunday routine last week; work, dance, dinner with bestie.
It was our maestro's birthday celebration, good time to drop by; b(r)ought chocolates to share. Stayed till surprise cake cutting, but left during the traditional birthday dance (where every female would dance a part of a song with him), partly cause i was running very late to meet bestie and friends. A huge part of me lacked the confidence to dance with teacher too; i haven't been dancing for 3 months, and would at all cost avoid doing anything that would potentially get me a tongue lash.
I'm so thankful for the 2 men who invited me to the dance floor, tolerated my nonsensical moves and one of em' even lifted me off the ground countless times!
It's Christmas milonga(party) next week and i should be attending, larh. If work doesnt tire me out too much. It's gonna be a potluck event, any suggestions? I'm thinking of having Shepard's Pie right NOW.
All the rush to make it on time for dinner was very worthwhile. It's nice catching up over dinner and tea at a cafe my best friend and i used to frequent every week!

I just chanced upon someone's social networking profile and am glad he's now engaged to his gf of ? years.
I know of someone who went through an arranged marriage; both supposedly highly paid white collared professionals. It's amazing to see how love can be cultivated with time and effort.
So is it fair for someone to say, 'i dont love you anymore?'
A friend of mine asked me a question and i'm still giving thought over it. It goes something like, would you still love the person if doesnt have money, lost his job, car and house?
The answer is simple, yet ironic. There's this love conquers all ideology bout striving and working something out together, yet there's also a practical part to it. I don't want to worry bout having to make ends meet month after month. In conclusion, my love struck mind now tells me it's bout being with a person whom you can trust, relate to, go home to night after night, be willing to help to the best of one's ability, and be comfortable showing the kid in you.
And no, i'm no love guru and nothing is ever smooth sailing. Something's bound to happen along the way, maybe later, maybe tomorrow, maybe days weeks months years later. As he said, at the end of the day, it's a want or don't want, no matter how big or trivial the issues.

Oh good lord. What have i been saying?!

So many of my friends have gone/are going on a trip; envious. Bali thailand hongkong shanghai taiwan blahblahblah. I cant wait for 2009! I want to test my dive presents when the northeast monsoon ends in March, and blow bubbles at molamolas in July! July marks the end of service to a bond for some, and it includes MINE!!! Yayyy!

My 2008 is ending on a good note; family's healthy, few asthma attacks (though alot of allergic rhinitis), found love, experienced diving and tango (salsa not inclusive), went on a weekend mission trip, met some awesome folks, went back to school, and what more i cant think of to thank heavens for.
I think there're 2 things i want to do before 2008 becomes history. To paint. And whiten my teeth using take home whitening gel. I'm so reluctant to do the former cause a basic starters kit is so costly. And the latter too, cause i love tea and coffee too much. Plus, i don't like the discomfort (more like pain) of having to wear my ill fitting aligners.
There was 0.3 carat diamond ear studs something i was hoping to purchase when i turned 21. But having school fees to pay for and a rationale mind kept that at bay. Still sane. Heng ar.

Soon it'll be spring cleaning, clearing out the closet and be clad in ching-chong attire ready for ChineseNY celebrations. I don't quite like ChineseNY. Us kids are always put in a difficult position. Gotta remind mum to stock up on frozen food for reunion steam boat dinner before prices start rocketing. Or has it already started its climb? Hmm.

I mean, alot of rubbish.