I was introduced a stranger's online journal. Skeptical bout Kel's defination of must-see-sure-cry, i decided to check things out. True enough, tears welled in my eyes. More importantly, it reminded me of the caducity of life.
I want to cherish and enjoy the now that i have. I want the courage to tell someone i like him, and how awestruck i am by his knowledge and character, though there might never be a happy ending. I want to stop fooling around someday and be in love and union with someone. I dont want to slog for a wage and let life pass me by-I want to be able to help people who would never have the ability to repay me. I want to eventually have a nice apartment i call home-I want to host get-togethers at my place and capture candid shots of my friends on polaroid. I want to get lost in a dance and forget about everything else. I want to spend my retirement days on an island (dont remind me of Sg being an island) away from city life, diving, dancing and being in the arms of my lover. I want to live in the present, and the future.
I'm not against any chimnies(smokers)-in fact, i'd love to smoke weed, but i hope you'd all quit. I'm not against speeding but i hope you'd all drive safe. I'm not against casual sex but please play it safe. I'm not against tattoos but please make sure the needles are changed. There's an endless list of
“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
One life, live it, yo.
It's been awhile since you heard me rant ya? I do have my fair share of doubts and worries.
Well, I go home to a singing canary i call mum. And a sister who throws her stuff around my room-i just might rip her apart someday. And my brother whom i occassionally conflict with. Manners of a banshee. Sometimes i hunt for some indication of a brain in him.
At work, i'm leeching onto another's clientele, and it's worrying that the appointment pages are barely written.
In school, i can keep up with lecture, but im not practising tutorial questions back home. The thought of having to prepare for an exam, especially so an open book exam, sends darts of fears right through my heart. Time is gonna whizz pass, and it's high time i start doing something bout school-or at least, start studying in an attempt to alleviate some fears.
My greatest fear for now: School. I guess i've not given what i wanted to pursue much thought, used elimination methdology (again, like how i choose my diploma) got into it too quickly. Then again, i dont want to live on an idle street, sit comfortably in the hands of work, only to jolt to senses at 30. Too late.
Oh well, on a brighter note, being a student brings great privileges! I met the naughty girl, Tracy, and her habitual rubber time ended up with a famished me(us) having late lunch at !ch!banSushi and a Student's Cone from Henders0n's! I love those chunky almonds drowning in the delicate and creamy sin, carrying with it a subtle hint of kopi. HEY! If only it was drizzled with dulce de leche (one more reason to visit Argentina), wouldnt it be nice!?
Isnt it great that Sg's a sunny island all year round? We'll never run out of excuses for an icecream, or a popsicle!
Coolbeans!
2 comments:
feels like... feels like i'm wasting time. i want to get down and do sth too. pref sth to do with earning money. muhahaha
that tear jerker blog. i read. i feel so much for her. and at night, i dreamt that ric died on me and i wept buckets in my dream! wahlao!
be more focused. study hard ah! oh sorry, not hard. but smart!
kel
U have so much savings.... =l Go do something la.. (I KNOW WAD U ARE DOING.) MUAHAHAHAHA
Irony. I dreamt someone died on me too you know!
Scary..
I guess at the end of the day.. all of us have the same goal.. we want a comfortable life..
Cheers to working towards that!
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