I'ven been having disturbing dreams.. death related dreams. it's freaky.

frankly i'm not feeling too positive over everything.

i think im suffering from what others widely label as middle child syndrome.

Law Of Investments

Selling




Law of Investments
by John McLaren, Melissa Simpson and Mary Toohey
2nd Edition

Original.
First hand.
Wrapped.
No writings. No highlights.
Important concepts neatly tagged for easy referencing.
Includes lecture notes, and additional research materials for exam.

$

money money money.. it's so funny.. in a rich man's world..

Maaran and I (ok i did the bookings) booked a trip to Hong Kong in December. Budget Airline and 3* Hotel-Sounds forgivable? No, not at $1618.

On top of that, school fees to pay for in July and wedding stuff to pay for. O good lord save me!

No shopping unnecessarily till... i get to HK!!! (Haha i don't sound too remorseful do i)

No folks, this is not a Honeymoon. I guess we might do without a honeymoon. I mean... travel means travel, lah. Why must travel especially after getting married..

Yet Another..

Big sigh. Here's the place to let out a big sigh.

I don't ask for too much at work. All i humbly ask for is peace and cohesion. And i thought it's always within, no i'm wrong.
Nevermind that, i'm so thankful for being able to attend night class next semester, and hell yeah work 4 days a week.

It's been a year since i've dived. I'm itching for one yet i don't dare take leave on Sundays. I don't even dare call in and report sick. How many times i went to work feeling too cold yet too hot. Oh well. You know, a weekend where you'd just eat dive sleep, some others smoke and drink too. It's so much fun being out at sea; if you're lucky, a pod of dolphins performs for you while you're on boat. How i miss those days.

M has promised that we'd go for an annual overseas trip!! Yipppe yayyy!

E helped me get a new school bag from UK. Too bad it's black, again. The colours i wanted are all out of stock. It's definately oversized and i'm gonna dump so many things into it. :D I love the idea of it being seemingly waterproof. In our unpredictable climate, it's so awesome!
But the tiny tote i wanted was out of stock in the outletS. I was desperate for one in beige, where it'd fit a wallet, phone, water bottle and camera-just the right size for a night out with friends.

And the damn school. It's a week till school reopens and our notes are not on the Portal yet.

We're going for lunch now, bye!

Sigh.
Big sigh.

The Invite cards was the 1st task we embarked on, but it's not getting anywhere near completion. I have what i want in mind, exactly, but i dont know how to execute it.
I wish i had Graphic Design knowledge; to be able to draw out everything from scratch. If i knew, i can stay up for nights perfecting it.

But i dont.
Neither do we have $ to pay for it.

So what's next.

Help i feel like dying. There's nothing much worth living for.

Thankful

Hi guys, IDEM is over and i've got no more excuses to not start serious revision. It's 2 weeks away to exams and i think i'm 5% prepared. *Gosh*

Maaran and i were hunting for shoes at town last evening. I'm way too unlucky. Everything i like were either last pair with some fault in them or out of size. If i were to put this task aside, i'll be left with 2 weeks post exams to hunt for The Wedding Shoes for photography. Oh god save me. Oh boy, it's not the first time i've been This Unlucky with shoes, anyway. Should've seen it coming.

I'm so thankful that we're in this preparation together. I've not quite heard of any man who gets so involved in their wed prep. In fact, M has been doing bulk of the liasing. My job thus far has been plowing through the net, filtering vendors and sending him their contact details. I'm way too grateful that M does all these despite his heavy work schedule.

It's monday and i shouldnt procrastinate on revision anymore. But guess what, I'm down with Leftover Sinus Probem from yesterday's episode, a slight fever, sore throat, lazy bones and a constipated tummy. Dear Lord. Help!

Hi folks, first things first, sorry to disappoint but i'll be getting married this year end.

Next. I'm now working on a part time basis, not to mention the drastic pay cut. Funny, i feel less stressed now. Why did i go part time? The appointment books are way too empty, and that makes me stressed. Though my salary is fixed, and we do not have listed quotas to achieve, i feel a strong sense of having to achieve an amount that would justify my pay. Not having a chance (cause the appointment pages are white) to do that gets me really stressd up at work. Working twice a week gives time to catch up on the entire semester's work, in preparation for Examinations in the first week of May. I can't recall the number of times i've skipped school. It also gives me time for wedding preparations. (Cant wait to buy shoes!)

Oh boy, time to start on my Law assignment due tomorrow! Chao!

There're so many things i want to do, yet i couldnt wait for the day i die.

I'm still feeling depressed.

Right now, im thinking of diving, not just in the murky waters of Singapore, but at somewhere really beautiful, like Sipadan, and alot of other places we've not explored.

I'd like to climb mountains. I'd like to sit at the Grand Canyon, meadows and gaze at how beautiful Earth is without high rise buildings.

I'd like to put on my boots and build a snowman.

I'd like to help others who are very much less fortunate, to be born in a place without proper sanitisation, governance and health care.

I'd like to change my destiny. Cause i hate my job. Really.

I don't see myself working as an 0HT for the rest of my life. It'$ not worth the aching shoulders.

im feeling so down i want to go out but have got no where to go.
im feeling so down i want to eat but there's nothing else i feel like eating.

I've been extremely out of sorts the past few days.
Since Tuesday, to be exact. Nevermind what happened at work.

My night's sleep was filled with nightmares.. of accidents, deaths and all things unhappy.
Then came Saturday. I ate. and ate, and ate alot.

I know i binge when i'm down. This time, i binge cause i know i'm depressed.

Maybe it's time to quit.

happy lunar new year

M and I spent the Chinese New Year holidays at Thailand, Bangkok. Here're few things from the trip i'll never ever forget..

1) We walked so much on the first day, i got stiches halfway.
2) Nevermind point 1; we took a taxi on the second day and he was a Private Transport Convert after that.
3) "Why did i suffer with you on Day 1?"
4) At the tailor shop during fitting (before final stiches are made), while i was trying to curb my anger..
4a) "Boss, this cannot (alter) that cannot (alter), then i come fitting for what?"
4b) "This morning everything can can can, now everything cannot. Why, boss, why"
4c) We were 'designing' a male version of the CheongSum and the boss wanted to cut a business shirt. "No boss, Im Chinese i know. It's like........" "Ok."
5) At the Pharmacy after paying for topical cream. "Erm, this one real right?" (pharmacist jaw dropped, "Excuse me?") "Thailand everything fake; just checking" (pharmacist: "Not in Pharmacy!") We scurried away, giggling.
6) Screw the restaurents; i loved the food courts and street food! (no, didn't lao sai)
7) The massage parlour with the prettiest ambience had the suckiest massage. Check out Mr Feet. Best.
8) Thronging in Chatuchak Market despite the sweltering sun gave us most satisfaction. We bought a couple of household items!
9) I was stuffing my face with so much food M called me a Fat Girl.
10) The trannies put me to shame! And it's bout 100SGD to watch 'The Caberet'; so paeng!
11) The B.Suite has got a damn musky smell that we got used to after being in the room for awhile. And we had to get used to it everyday. Yucks.
12) Don't attempt to hurt your back lifting a filled luggage. Tip the bell boy well. It's worth every Baht.
13) Don't gulp 500ml of milk at 1 shot. I swear it gives the runs; those you can't hold/control at all. Or rather, don't buy breakfast milk thinking it would pass the customs.

Results are out, don't know to yayyy or not to yayyy.
My results are not fantastic, at all. I knew i could had done better.
I remember how scared i was after taking 2 papers, thinking i wouldnt make it through this time.Results are out and i ought to be happy. But i'm not. I'm so so disappointed with myself for not starting early. Well.

And you know what?!
S!M are $ucker$. Check this out.

burrrrrp.

Hello guys.
I've got so much to let out i'm going crazy!

First things first. Work drained the hell out of me today! Or rather, these days. I cannot stand it anymore. I get so frustrated, i feel like going to the pantry and ask someone else for help. Maybe i have expectations that are too high, but all these happened in a simple procedure and my day closed feeling so god damn fucking drained.

She: Light cure is not working.
Me: Turn on the switch. (Still no light, stares at me blankly)
Me: Go get the portable set! (DUH!)

She: Do you have a smaller microbrush? (search for awhile) No.
Me: Go room 4 take the black micro brush.

Me: Plastic strip.
She: (reaches out for the polishing strip)
I couldn't tahan cause it was obvious that i needed a celluloid strip at that point in time!

No to mention the number of times i have to call for LIGHT and SUCTION.

These are really simple things. It's a very very simple drill fill bill procedure and she cant get it right after 1.5years. TELL ME HOW TO STAY CALM HARH!

Worst. New patient. And i have to ASK for the camera. What the fuck, really.

It's not that i'm trying to be difficult, biased, yaya papaya, ..
But maybe, some people are just not cut out to do certain things, and it's inflicting pain on me.
Aiyah fuck it la. I'm just an 0HT. Ya?

Anyhows, yesterday was wayyyy funner than today! After a short day at work, i made Liang Teh, took a good shower before heading out again for a toothy talk! It was so much fun catching up with Lara! Plus the beehoon and vegetarian gyoza was quite nice, after a 20min walk around sgh just to get to alumn! association.

These days, my addictions include Happy Aquarium on Facebook and catching House on DVD. House is an American television medical drama, and i love it when they derive at a differential diagnosis. And.. we love eating at one of ToaPayoh's wet market! It's yummy and value for money!

By the way, i've been fired from emceeing at a wedding.
But i'll still have to keep to my eyelash perm appointment at the neighbourhood beautician.

I'm gonna miss home and M so much when i'm away in Myanmar. It's gonna be freaking cold (for me) and i'll be with strangers. I'm scared of showering with the bathroom doors shut, waking up in a dark foreign room, dirt, ...

My secondary school NPCC Sir recently got hitched with a collegue! what a small small world! In school days, he was my 'ah gong', ya ya ya, cliche but you know how fun it was those days!

I miss fuglies so much. We need a get-together! It's gonna be so much fun.

first paper on 26th and i've only complete 2 chapters out of 12. die.

not to mention, i've not touched anything for the other 2 modules.

i'm left with thurs and sat to study..

how now brown cow?

-

I'm getting so frustrated with everyone and everything.

To start off the long chain of frustrations, i'm still angry with myself for going to polytechnic, the rest is history but you know the story.
Cant blame myself thou, we were 16 and had to make such choices. And at that point of time, blame ourselves for being stubborn (for not listening to elders) and wanting an easy way out (we thought we can skip lectures and go for birthday celebration & watch Mean Girls).

I cannot tahan the N. My blood boils! Here i am trying to be as gentle as i can, trying to be as efficient as i can, but on my left, someone have to ruin everything!
And when on earth would i have my hands on building up CL2 CR under LA and RDI?

I got extremely irritated with M when he placed a cold pack on me!

I'm so screwed cause the exams are damn near, and i've not started any revision. The 1st paper, although MCQ only, is 1.5 weeks away. And that leaves me with only 3 days left to study.
So what the heck am i doing here?

Bye.

-

My dream job has always been wanting to be a paramedic. Apart from the adrenaline rush sitting in a speeding ambulance and jumping off helicopters, i've come to the realization that there're too many things happening around us everyday, be it in our everyday lives at home, work, school, and the rest of the Earth. I'm humbled by what Mother Nature can do. My heart goes out to victims of tropical storm Ketsana; the many that're left cold, hungry, homeless and alone.
I'm no great philanthropist but i hope i'll be one day. I hope to travel the world, feed and be in the midst of the hungry, bring a smile to their cold cold hearts and leave this earth knowing my life has been a blessing to others.

-

Hello folks, meet Lola, my new friend who goes around the house with me. Isn't she lovely?

-

Bulk of last week was spent at FDI.
Oh boy, for euros 110,

1) i caught the feverish bug from kel since Day1. On Day2, i felt pukish and left for home midway during the afternoon session. Big hugs to kel for emptying her clear wrigley's plastic case for my puke during the bus ride. Sorry for grossing you out so much that you HAD TO get down at Bugis, HAHAHA.

2) we got lots of freebies from the exhibition hall! toothpastes, toothbrush (so big it can clean granpa's dentures), chewing gum, and a photo of kel, ping and myself with a toothmoose standie!

3) i bought a pair of binocular loupes from Heine at SGD1548. *jaw drops, again*
This is one huge damage (although partially sponsored) that i will never, ever forget. Takes abit of getting used to thou. How i love the macro! I can't describe the feeling of accuracy when using loupes. It sure has proven itself within a day of use. And i have to re-adjust all over again-it's hard to 'feel' what the patient is feeling cause i get so focused looking at teeth and teeth only! (Why can't human beings be immune to pain/sensitivity, and just let me focus on doing my bit on dentistry?!)

4) i reach home feeling very very very tired everyday, thou it's a routine 2.5hours lecture, 2.5hours lunch and another 2.5hours lecture. Could be that i'm no longer used to office hours. Result: I'm way behind preparations for business finance test.
I've only got thursday left for studying.

I've not been feeling tip top of late. I feel very very lethargic, my tummy either aches or get the runs, my head spins, etc. I feel like i need to go for a blood test, just to be on the safe side and make sure everything is fine.

And by the way, we just celebrated our first anniversary, and counting.

God bless you and me.

F. Life.

Why wasn't i born into a filthy rich family, and still have to suffer from allergy sicknesses like asthma, sensitive skin, allergic rhinitis, which lead to incompetent lips, mouth breathing, anterior open bite, etc. Why do i have to see my bank account dwindle since the day i thought i was ready to face the world myself. Why do i have to depend on myself since the day i started work, and even contributed to the household, although for awhile only. Why do i now have to see myself through varsity. Why does she say that if i needed help with school fees i can approach her. Why does she then ask if i'm planning to return her the money. Why does he leave the room, or even worst, the house, with the lights and fan still on. Why does my dear brother, whom i celebrate my 1st birthday with when he was 3, can get about life waking up late, lazing, playing games, giving the occassional tuition to a P6 dyslexic and still own a 2wheeled private vehicle. Why does god wanna fuck around with me so much. For all these im going through, i swear my bank account will make a come back 2 years on.

Melacca

It's the Nation's Birthday and we were comtemplating on what to do. By the time we decided to head up north, heritage-filled hotels were no longer available for booking via the www. Still, we set off at 6am and headed for 2nd Link. Petrol aside, it was pay and pay from Tuas (S$4.60) all the way to Melacca(approx. S$16). Thankfully, we were not stopped by some traffic police for wrongfully-wrong reasons; which include 'tinted windows', 'speeding', 'tempered engine', etc., which'd burn another RM50(S$21).

Our first stop over was at YongPeng's (Exit 242 on NSE2) Pusat Mekanan Mewah where I had the awesomest Bak Kut Teh. Unlike local garlicky/pepperish soups we are used to, the one we had was indescribable. M had wanton mee at RM2.80. Giggles; so cheap! The noodles were damn soft!

Headed back on NSE2; in an attempt to top up the Touch&Go card, we exited at AyerHitam, as instructed by many locals. Apparantly, there's a petrol kiosk near the toll gate that offer top up services-totally wrong. At a T junction, my instincts told m to turn right. Landed at SheII without top-up facility and many locals who look like robbers. Cost of unfamilarity: RM8.

Using my self drawn map (the last thing we want to know is that we're lost), we headed back E2 and continued the ardous drive towards Ayer Keroh Toll (Exit 231). Topped up touch&go at one of the toll gate; forgot where.

Top priority was to get a roof over our heads, so m can take a rest from long hours of driving and we can down more chendol. Chanced upon a budget hotel that quoted us RM60/night.

Instead, we quoted her 40/night. So the very next question i asked m was, 'Jonker street can bargain or not huh?' Haha, cheap thrills lah!

From then, it was eat drive/walk shop eat drive/walk shop!
The mediocres we had were meesua,coffee and lime juice; which could never go wrong.
Famosa chicken rice balls were hard and starchy, maybe cause it's machine made, but their roasted chicken's nice and juicy. Nothing compared to one I've had locally, where the rice balls were soft and fluffy. Famous 88JS's baba laksa and baba rendang chicken was nice and forgettable, but nothing beats our..
Highlight of the trip: Carnation Crab! The carnation sauce was spicy, sour and sweet at the same time.
Oh, chendol. It's the first time i had a bowl of chendol to myself. I tell you, it's so different from the ones we have here. I don't like the smell of local chendol+evaporated milk+coconut milk, much less eat it. But the ones in Melacca, look deceivingly plain and smells darn sweet. Their secret? They rain, not drizzle, gula melaka over crushed ice, and hide loads of red beans, sweet corn, and atap chee (yucks) beneath. Not sure if they add evaporated milk+coconut milk, but it sure was pleasing to my tastebuds! One outlet had its kitchen windows tinted, but i got a picture nonetheless. Teeheehee. And when we were back the next day, the chendol 'chef' cheekily said to m in malayu, 'ah take picture ah huh?'
Haha!

Of cause, we were back in Sg for pledge moment. And had a Sg flag in the car, in case we didnt make it back on time.
Ilovesingapore, lah!