Qualms

I sat. I wondered. And i dig into the past.
Then came an uneasy feeling, wondering what i did to myself.
There might be certain wrongdoings i wish i didnt make. But looking back, there's really nothing i can do cause i've drifted too far, fallen too deep. From everything i used to be, everything i used to have. Including some of the values i used to stand for, now labelled and altered to suit 'societal norms'.
Im not ashamed to say i've changed, alot. As much as im still the jovial person many know of, i guess life isnt always an uphill. I do have down days like this.
I know im much more mature than my peers, after going thru so many of life's events, that im so cautious of anything and everything. Having gone thru the furnest, i must admit im not refined. Im not a perfect person, yet i cant figure my high expectations for most things. I dont know why i love plans, so much so i wonder if i have a hint of autism running in my blood. I do not know why im slogging my life out- working 6 days a week. Money is a motivation factor, but it has taken colours out of many other days, when i recall 'ohh sunday still must work'. As much as Mum nags at me, she has been of great support in my work life-she has never failed to wash 2 suit dresses i wear on weekdays, and my dirty Sunday scrub.
I want the zest i used to have. I dont know where im heading now. And shamefully admit im a bummer living day by day, with a 2 year bond stuck to my ass, a worrysome one thanks to the volatile stock market. I do have ideal plans. And money determines it all. My plans are so vague i cant visualize myself there, just yet.
And sometimes i do miss having a boyfriend. Not that im deprived. (Nor lack suitors. For that matter. Haha!) But the things you can share with a boyfriend, a good girlfriend and a close sibling is, ironically, of stark contrast.
I know TheAbove still loves me, and i know how normal it is to be ashamed to face Him again. Yet im feeling everything i know of head knowledge. Im so stubborn i dont wanna make a u turn, yet.

But still, i wear a smile.
No matter where i go, whatever the weather, i bring my own sunshine-for others, at least.
Then again, why dont i come to my senses, tear down my fences and open the gate.
Ah! Do you know my favourite song right now? Desperado, esp. by EmiFujita!

Week 47-Part 2

Wednesday, 21 Nov
The 25 year old Musical Fountain I used to frequent as a child has given way to a 30million multi-sensory extravaganza at Siloso Beach just by the Sentosa Express Beach Station.

After dinner at SeahIm Food Centre, we took the Sentosa Bus from HarbourFront Interchange to the 3rd alighting point:Beach Station.
Alternatively, you can take the Sentosa Express from VivoCity and alight at Beach Station. An admission fee of 3sgd can be bought at ticketing booths located near the holding area.

The mesmerising 25mins show is presented in an open-air amphitheatre at 7.40pm and 8.40pm nightly all year round.
The show began with the live cast presenting old-time folk songs (Chan Ma Li Chan, Munnaeru Vaalibaa). They made good efforts in engaging the audience. You cant ask for more when creative choreography of colourful lights and lasers, computer imaging, water jets, flame bursts and fireworks all come together for 6sgd!

Thumbs up and highly recommended!

Kel, i apologise for the invation of our private space by showing our MSN conversation log. But to give am oomph to my already dead entry, here goes..

kel says:
NICE RIGHT
kel says:
ITS THE CHEAPEST THING IN SENTOSA.

uh.. The entire chunk i described is known as Songs Of The Sea.

Thursday, 22 Nov
Although nursing a cough, slight flu and fever, I went for a jog at Whampoa Park Connector. Oh! Top all that germy invation with a really sexy hoarse voice. Already gasping for breath, Marcus and Kel had to call while i was doing my 2nd round. Panting away, I had to force out the chirpiest im-not-fatigued tone.

Friday, 23 Nov
1 min to train arrival. I sprint to the gantry, only to be disappointed. I clean forgot that i left my EZ-link card in my run shorts. My 1st instinct was to phone mum, hoping to catch her in time to pass me a card. Her phat butter fingers fumbled and her annoyed daughter had to take fuzzy sounds and couple of beeps produced by accidental presses on the number pad.
The clinic is a <15mins walk from Hougang station. imsopoor I dont have a couple of pennies in my purse to bus down. HELLO?! I woke up exceptionally early to shavebathe!!!
To top off everything, i dont quite understand why the usual travel-light me had so many things on hand. A bag (not a wristlet for I'd be having a long day out-brought clothes), newspapers, lunch and a huge box of donuts i bought last night for the guard house.
Managing all these in a dress. fuckadoo.

I think life just had me slapped right in the face.

Never mind a fucked one hour morning, cause a misty morning doesnt signify a cloudy day.

Exasperated by the senseless events, im having a cuppa 25% less sugar CappaRoma low fat instant coffee.

Week 47-Part 1

Saturday, 17Nov
It was the usual Fri-Stay-Over-Sat-nuah session and Tracy could no longer tolerate a lil corner of my wardrobe room. While I exercise eye power, approve clothes to be dumped and stare into space, she was kept occupied clearing my closet, folding the entire pile of clothes before packing it into cupboard proper. *Yay! Skips around*
We had and milk too!

Sunday, 18 Nov
It was a straight 9.5 hours of work, non-stop. Totally petered out, I wasnt even able to finish catching LucyLiu Charlie'sAngels2 on 5!

Monday, 19 Nov
Awhile ago, I couldnt comprehend the craze over O.P.I. nail lacquer until an experience at the neighbourhood salon yesterday.
Damage on express pedicure: 15SGD, 78SGD for 6 sessions. Up next: Pedicure@30SGD. My oh my *Skips around in freshly painted nails*

Tuesday, 20 Nov
I might have been emiting bad vibes posting multiple shots. But who cares. Pictures clarify and enhance my underscored text. Photographs counteract my failing memory and brings special moments back. So here's what i did last night-5mins of cam whore.

I was rubbed the wrong way by M last night.
Its really irksome to receive dead ended messages, particularly those bursting with The Evil Trinity of Me Myself And I.
And so we talk bout communication. And we talk about communication break down too.
The ability to sustain a decent conversation, doesnt encompass fate, destiny and the like. It is a shared responsibilty, a conscious effort to engage, a deliberate effort in being mentally perceptive and receptive. Basically, an exchange of thoughts, information, etc.

I dont quite understand why humans get browbeaten by beings who "look better than us". I'd love to think that one should love and embrace ourselves. Unfortunately, culture and the media has influenced our perception of beauty.
Technology and its effects on my lovely orbits.


She's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night?

Happy Birthday, Hon

Nobel House Restaurent@UIC Building
It was birthday celebration for grandad on 8th November too! 2 year old baby Joy suffers from AuntyRuthSelfDiagnosed AttentionDefiDisorder-She cant stop fidgeting. Or is my 770i integerated C(why)bershot camera's auto focus taking way too long? Top right: My fav uncle-Patrick, whose vehicle i long to take over. HAHAHA. Now i know the roots of my button nose-FROM THE GOH FAMILY. Touché touché!
The Good: 1) FREE PARKING. Evaluate if its illegal:
2) Ambience: Decorative doors and windows combined with delicate details on the surrounding balcony provided an elegant nostalgic streetscape setting.
3) Price: SGD 28++ Ala Carte Buffet Dinner. Palatable dishes does full justice to the reasonably miserable menu range. We had Noble House Barbecued Meat Platter, Double Boiled Pigeon Soup served in Bamboo Tube, Sautéed Scallops and Cuttlefish in Special Chilli Sauce, Wok Fried Kelong Crab with Chilli Sauce, Poached Prawns with Chinese Wine, Steamed Sea Bass with 1) garlic & 2) Thai Style, Salmon Sashimi, Deep Fried Prawns with Crispy Oats, Deep Fried Soft Shell crab with Salt & Pepper, Salmon Head with Ginger and Onion, Braised Sliced Sea Abalone and Mushroom with Selected Vegetables in Oyster Sauce, Sautéed Sliced Fish with Selected Vegetables, Deep Fried Coriander Cheese Balls, Sautéed Shrimps and Cavier with Egg, Braised Pork Ribs with Homemade Sauce, Wok Fried Venison with Satay Sauce, Fried Duck Meat with Sweet and Sour Sauce, Deep Fried Chicken in Italy Sauce, Chilled Herbal Jelly with Honey
, Sweetened Red Bean with Lotus Seeds, Chilled Mango Pudding and Chilled Honeydew with Sago! Not forgetting.. Longevity Buns!

LazyAfternoon
Lunch at TownerRoad's KFC with my little girlfriend, Trayc and my two other lovely faces but mind f.ed BFFs (And their handsome control freaks)




BlissRestaurent@PunggolPark




We opted for alfresco dining fringing the edge of a 5-hectare pond in Punggol Park.
My tastebuds were tantalised by a moderate serving of slightly done medium rare steak, buttery smooth mashed potatoe and greens. We were shocked by the less than impeccable service offered by waitresses clad in uber mini denimn skirts. 1) Openly asked a friend of mine, "Is it an ice-cream cake?" And when asked for the cake to be brought out, it was still nicely packed in its boxed, tied with a ribbon for good measure. Tell me they DID provide impeccable service by bringing along cutlery. The service staff basically slapped Bliss right in the face that night. Verdict: "Will go back larh"

Soup Restaurent@Hougang Mall
LOL

and I were having a bruised blue Monday and decided to head for a great feast cum (aku's) birthday celebration right after work.
Decor: The dining area was demarcated with bamboo shoots and wooden beams. Barrel-shaped stools complemented the interior decor.
Food:

We had..
1) Steamed groundnuts: Slightly saltish and oh so fragrant!
2) Fan Shu Ye: AKA Ah Gong Vege, looked a lil like kang kong, stir fried with sambal accompanied the steamed rice well.
3) SanYu: Boneless and very fresh fish slices cooked with ginger and spring onion.
4) Soup of the day
5) Samsui Chicken: That was to die for. And I insist on elaborating this.. Cause i've been craving for the ginger sauce ever since. Served on a large white plate centred by a bowl of roughly minced ginger sauce are pieces of boneless cooked white chicken (Hainanese style), surrounded by a ring of thinly sliced cucumber. Lettuce leaves are served on a side plate. Delight in the harmonious flavours by wrapping the chicken, ginger and cucumber in a lettuce leaf. *Salivating, again

It took me 20years to realise.. It takes 1) 7mins to cook a half boiled egg placed in boiling water. 2) great practice cracking a half boiled egg! (Im so pampered meh?)

44th Weekend Review

Current addiction


Sharing a fraction of my cam whoring experience.


Pitch dark room with camera lights on.


Mother's first shot.


Toothy Talk
As I laid vulnerable on the dental chair, i was 'tranquilized' by YWC and his extremely light and delicate touch as he replaced a lost restoration on the cervical palatal region of my 16.

Reflection
I can never be ataraxic.
Because my path right now is uncertain. Yes, i do have a stable job, a roof over my head, enough to spend, alot more fortunate than many others..(And i really am thankful for that) But ask me where i'll be 1.5 years from now. I tell you-Im not quite sure.
Because there're multiple mini stress bolders dropping from i-dont-know where ever so often. Everyone has their fair share. I dont know how much longer i can hold. But i know im coping. well. As of now.

Ahh so much for a 'wet and runny' night. It'll be sunny-side-up soon i hope. :) Ciao!

Tickled

Thurs -Day 1 of I/\/\peccable$ervice workshop and our lil post-work get-together session at BugisAnd thats Kel & Carmen for you. I love my 3 other fuglies to bits too!

My privacy's always invaded by CWK whenever we meet up. (In exhange, im allowed to touch that bastardette like a barbie doll, sing as thou she cant hear me and bitch bout our current affairs.) And when she finally decided to go beyond my Inbox and Sent Messages, a ticklish surprise awaits in My Gallery..



Intrigued, she felt it was of great urgency that a photo of my stools be sent to her. Giggling, she passed it on..
Of which,
1) saved Yas who was one foot in LaLaLand and never went back because he too, set his eye and grin on the picture.
2) had GS arch her eyebrows for it probably is the utmost abberant file she ever received..
3) and many other victims of my ludicrous babe.

I look forward to the next event we attend as a batch of 2007 graduates. I had to much fun these 2 days at the I/\/\peccable $ervice workshop!

And CONGRATULATIONS to ex-classmate, kel's gentlemanly control freak bf, CI R!chard Han upon obtaining his Class3 driver's licence!

I got myself a new phone too! Because.. My reliable 3.3year old Nokia6230 died on me. Not a gadget whiz = Zero excitement. Check out the SonyEricsson 770i and tell me bout it! You've got 8hours to do so while the candy-bar phone has its batteries calibrated!

Roach Attack

In me, is a propensity to head for the vaccuum cleaner whenever a domestic cockroach is spotted. As i wondered , 'from which dark corner of hell did this creature spawn from to disturb my chilly night', I decided to head for the dusty stack of newspaper. Quavering, i folded the po chua into a third, gathered just enough courage and struck. Spot my accomplishment.Verdict: Battle lost due to Brother roach's limb regeneration ability.

Isnt it amazing how xiao qiang can live without a head for SEVERAL days?! Apparently, we dont call the blaberous giganteus xiao qiang for nuts! They are really qiang(strong)!

Bangkok

Hotel
Baiyoke Boutique, 3 Star, 4D3N@SGD80(Breakfast inclusive), twin/single rooms not ideal nor permissible for triple share (super single sized beds), personally felt that service was way better than BaiyokeSky.

Getting Around
Via the BTS, Subway, Cab and Tuk Tuk.

Most Gutso Experience
Snacking from roadside stalls! The coconut juice fresh off the husks were to DIE for. It was so freaking refreshing, it was worth paying 10baht more than the stall a few steps away!

Briefly..
The malls in urbanised Bangkok are like labyrinths that i hate getting lost in. Yet, with much pleasure, we bump our way in the intricate combination of retail outlets.

The Disgusting Flourishing Counterfeit Market
As we pass hawkers and heir precarious tables of perfectly replicated luxury goods (to the untrained eye), I was amazed as the vendor gave his sales patter about the quality of the goods, backed-up with pictures from official catalogues. These fake goods of all types abound are sold at a fraction as compared to its original counterparts. It isnt surprising to know that there are different manufacturers of fake goods, is it? Common copies include items from AS, LV, G,

I've Learnt That..
Most Thais speak a lil English. But learning how to say greetings, numbers and compliments in Thai made bargaining so much easier! More often than not, I laughed off whatever not understood, haggled, touch my hair and strut off with a huge grin. And do not denigrate the Thais of their ability to understand Chinese/Dialect, for the bulk of Thai Chinese comprehend.

My Steals
Presenting.. My first G string from Morgan!
Not a sanitary pad, but this one's long, ultra dry and soft.
Pink and brown's lomantic!

When being holy is about getting the right blouse..
A picture doesnt do this justice. Neither does itself.
A tad too large to be worn on its own..
Such a girlie gurl!
I refuse to make any comments on a Z/-\R/-\ remake. Please dont, too.
Lets proceed to the next one...
Beads and sequins add oomph to airport breasts.
Igniting the child in me.



Basics..


I so love the details Morgan injects! Ooolala

I hate the sleeves which look like elephant ears!
One of my favourites..
Thailand's signature redbull singlet! Bought at SuanLum, size S, not knowing Chatuchak has female cuts! I prefer the Heineken one! Should had gotten ChangBear and Singha too!(Photo unavailable)
Sequined dress.
2nd spag top of my life.
Jas thinks its clowny personified but i beg to differ.
Its so comfy i'm becoming anti underwire soon!
Wasting money..
Playboys's so flirty! I want to frame this up!
Basics..

And the insatiable desire led me to more shopping back home..
Or is this the residue of an unsatisfied shopping trip?