Pro-crastinate

I've been a professional procrastinator since graduation from the polytechnic.
XX has been urging me to want it badly enough and pursue what i really want, urging me to write Letters of Evaluation, application essays and the like.
I've been casting my dream away, somewhere at the back of my head, time again and again, months after months.
When i finally got down to it. I am gripped by fear. As i read through lines after lines of procedures, i sink deeper. Suddenly, I closed all tabs that i eagerly opened. Akin to a quicksand, i am overwhelmed by obstacles that i've not even stepped into.
I fear.
I shall reopen them again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe wed, thurs, fri. Sat might be the day i gather enough rest and courage to find out more. Definately by sunday.
I wish i'd be satisfied with my diploma. No, its not the money, any longer. Week in week out, i observe and want to be like Boss. I dont want to drill fill bill all my life. I want to think of other ways of helping a soul. I want to contribute to the life of others, i want to improve their standard of living. I dont care if i get left on the shelf. I think this is what they call passion. I think i lack the urgency to pursue.
Nowadays, i just want to stay home, read a book, catch more rest, mingle a lil and head out once in awhile.

I remember reading a History book. It states. Fear not, for I am with you. It states. Lead me to a rock higher than i.

Signing off,
the other side.